(Caption: LEGO City, 2014)
Wife: Honey, look out! Cliche!
Gerry: Huh? [all screaming] What's happening?!
Cop: Kre-O! They're everywhe- Aah! (gets torn apart by the Kre-O's)
Wife: There's something wrong with them. They look like us but different! (A general lands in a helicopter.)
General: This way! Hurry! Your life has more value than other people! (The Lanes get onto the helicopter.) Gerry, we need your expertise!
Gerry: My expertise? I'm not a soldier!
General: Gerry, we need a lawyer.
[Title Card: WORLD WAR B (as in blocks)]
W.H.O. Doctor: Put simply, Gerry, we're being invaded by imitation blocks.
Assistant: Off-brand products with a taste for LEGO blood!
W.H.O. Doctor: They're nearly identical but different. Wrong. Like when you sit on your hand until it goes to sleep. You try to pretend Flo from the Progressive commercials is giving you an HJ, but you know it's not Flo. You know that! She'd never be so clumsy, so artless.
General: That's impossible! We're trademarked!
Gerry: No, general. LEGO bricks aren't protected by trademark. They're protected by patent.
Hell, man, what's the difference?
Gerry: The difference is...patents expire! Cool! Someone turned that legal document into a GIF. That's fun.
General: Isn't it "jiff"? Anyway, how do we stop it?
W.H.O. Doctor: There's nothing we can do. (whisper) Don't worry, Flo. I'll protect you.
Assistant: Don't worry, girl from the Wendy's commercials.
General: Don't worry, GEICO gecko. (cut to a map.)
Gerry: (in narration) They covered the whole globe in no time: Mega Bloks, Kre-O, Best-Lock, CoCo, BanBao, Rokenbok, Super Blocks, and Leggo with two g's, which was especially insulting.
(Caption: Lego Headquarters, Denmark)
[zombies groaning]
Barbershop Quartet: LEGO my baby, LEGO my honey, LEGO my ragtime gal...
Son: Daddy, are we safe?
Gerry: Of course we are, son. People are singing, aren't they? Ugh. That is the lowest form of music.
Barbershop Quartet: ...Honey, you'll lose me, then you'll be left alone... [zombies groaning loudly]
Gerry: The terrible singing! They're attracted to the terrible singing! (The zombies start climbing over the walls. Gerry knocks out the quartet. Soldiers start shooting.) Ohh! - Ow! Fire! Fire! They're too fast! - Ohh! (The doctor from before runs in with a syringe.)
W.H.O. Doctor: Gerry, I've found a way to camouflage ourselves!
Gerry: That beats my solution. (he acts out shooting zombies, and then acts out shooting himself) Pew pew! Pew pew! Pew!
W.H.O. Doctor: LEGOs are machined to a tolerance of 10 micrometers! That's why we're so expensive! But this serum will make us look cheaper and sloppier! (injects himself.) Aah! (turns into a Playmobil figure) We look like them now!
Gerry: I'd rather die. (His son notice something.)
Son: What?! - They have Transformers?
Gerry: No, son! No!
Son: Aah! (Bumblebee rips him in half)
Gerry: Nooooooo!
W.H.O. Doctor: You probably don't even want to go on living now.
Gerry: Huh? Oh, that was just a kid from my wife's first marriage. But that looked really painful. Hit me with the juice! (gets injected) Ugh! (The serum transforms him into...) No! You turned me into a fucking DUPLO! It's the same company as LEGO, you fool! Aah! Aah! (Mrs. Lane and the Doctor run away whilst DUPLO Gerry gets his head ripped off.) Guys, is this ending working? Let's re-shoot it. [zombies murmuring]