(Music begins. All the dialogue aside from a few exceptions is sung or spoken in tune.)
Linny: The caaan! The can is jiggling! There's a animal who needs uuus! Listen, it's a baby cow, out in the farmland. Near a comedy club!
Ming-Ming: What? You can't be sewious!
All: The Wonder Pets are coming quick to save a baby cow!
(The Wonder Pets all head toward their Flyboat)
Tuck: There's the comedy club it's called the "Laughter House"!
Linny: There's the baby cow in that tiny wooden box, she's unable to move!
Ming-Ming: Look! Her name is Veal! That's a pretty name!
Linny: (Opening the wooden door) There you go, Veal! You've got your freedom now!
(The baby cow falls onto her stomach)
Tuck: Her Legs! Her legs are atrophied from being locked up in her filth!
Ming-Ming: They say that laughter is the best medicine, but sewiously take that baby cow, PWEASE!
(The Wonder Pets tie the cow to the Flyboat with some rope, and drag the poor baby cow into the building. Instantaneously, chainsaw and gunshot noises are heard)
Linny: OH GOD! It's not a comedy cluuub!
(Tuck throws up at the after-sight. Then an old man puts up the letter "S" before the "L" in "Laughter House", causing it to now read "Slaughter House")
Linny: Slaughter House! Oh! That makes much more sense!
Ming-Ming: (angrily) Are you fucking serious?
Tuck: Hey, are you guys up for a burger?
(Beat. The Wonder Pets now have a burger in each of their hands, if Ming-Ming's wings count as such)
All: The Wonder Pets, Wonder Pets, the baby cow's deceased, but her flesh is nice and tender, so tonight we'll have a feast!
Tuck: (Like a jazz singer) And she tastes gooooood.
(Tuck then EATS the burger)