[Two scientists are building a huge death ray.]
- Scientist #1: [getting out of his chair] Whew, it'll be nice to have this ultimate death ray finished.
- Scientist #2: Yeah, let's just hope it doesn't fall into the wrong hands.
- Scientist #1: Good point. Wanna hit Quiznos?
- Scientist #2: Word.
- Scientist #1: Awesome. [the two scientists exit the room; the tool closet door opens, and out comes Soundwave.]
- Soundwave: Megatron, the ultimate death ray is almost complete.
- Megatron: [radio voiceover] Excellent, Soundwave! Now monitor their progress... by hiding in plain sight!
- Soundwave: [exiting the tool closet] Understood. [transforms into tapedeck mode and lands on table, where a wallet is present; the two scientists re-enter the room.]
- Scientist #1: Whoops, I forgot my wallet!
- Scientist #2: Aw, you'd forget your testicles if they weren't tethered by the van deferens to your seminal vesical! [laughs]
- Scientist #1: [looks at Soundwave] Hey, look at this thing!
- Scientist #2: Who's got a boombox anymore?
- Scientist #1: [picks up Soundwave and and carries him on his shoulder] Hey, look at me! I'm LL Cool J, huh? Electric Boogaloo! [Scientist #2 mimicks a DJ spinning records; Scientist #1 presses Soundwave's eject button, and a cassette pops out into Scientist #2's hand] Oh, what's that?
- Scientist #2: [as the camera zooms in on the tape as it says "Summer Lovin' 1985"] Oh my freaking God, it's a mix tape!
- Scientist #1: Lame! Wow! [combs hair] Hey, Danny, what'd you do this summer?
- Scientist #2: [making drying tears and masturbating gestures] I totally cried my eyes out, and then I masturbated! [pulls tape out of the cassette, spreading it all over the floor] My God, can you believe this actually used to be a viable format?
- [Soundwave peeks his head out to see what's going on, then transforms to robot mode.]
- Scientist #1: Look at me, streamers! I'm a clown!
- Scientist #2: Happy birthday!
- Soundwave: [to scientists] RUMBLE! YOU'RE KILLING RUMBLE!!
- Scientist #1: If by Rumble, you mean your weak-ass mix tape of pussy pussness, then I guess we are!
- Soundwave: [snatches back cassette and places it on the floor] Rumble, transform! TRANSFORM! [Rumble transforms into robot mode, and is dead; Soundwave picks him up] Nooooooooo, NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! [starts crying]
- Scientist #2: [pulling two batteries out of Soundwave's back] Hey, this thing runs on D batteries!
- Scientist #1: [laughing] Just like your wife's vibrator!
[Scene change to Decepticon headquarters. Megatron is pacing around the room impatiently, while Shockwave types on a computer.]
- Megatron: Soundwave hasn't reported back in days! Where can he be?
- Shockwave: Megatron, I think I've found him! [Soundwave has been put up for auction on eBay.]
- Megatron: eBay?
- Shockwave: Request permission to buy it now!