Greetings, heroes! Smilin' Stan Lee here along with Stripperella herself, the pulchritudinous pinup princess Pam Anderson!
Get ready for the hottest superhero news and the sexiest superhero gossip.
No one batted an eye when Captain America killed 10, 000 nazis with his bare hands.
But now a little collateral damage has cap in hot water with the A. C. L. U. Investments! Ow! Ai! Oh! Aah! Ah ga ga goo! Wha?! Oh, all that pain and suffering. Pain and suffering? Try watching the movie "Catwoman. " Zing! Galactic Historian "The Watcher" was arrested Wednesday after his eyes bit off a check his butt couldn't cash. But I'm the watcher. I was just watching. You're a big-headed pervert! Say, Stan, have you heard of Paris Hilton? Say, Pam, ever hung from a ceiling fan while your partner sat on a paint mixer? The hard-partying celebutante has found love with the unlikeliest of partners, Superman's evil opposite, Bizarro. Bizarro hate Paris! Hate her very little! Oh, isn't he the cutest? Paris crotch smell very sweet! Paris vagina very tight! What? In other news, me not want bury face in Pam's funbags! Uh he's off-card again. Should I after a long career of abject failure as the Justice League's most impotent member, Aquaman finally has a new career. Oh, no! I've trapped my foot in some seaweed! Help me, my aquatic comrades! Now! As a whaling industry consultant, Aquaman's new job nets him a six-figure income, full benefits, and all the whale he can eat. And now a word from our super sponsors. Oh, I'm so embarrassed. I want a divorce. Did somebody say flaccid? Hourman! I was just plain old Rex Tyler until I discovered a pill that gave me superhuman abilities for one full hour. Now, thanks to Rigidol, you can punch out erectile dysfunction and become an Hourman just like me! Whoa! Oh, God! You're my Hourman, baby! Yes! Yes! Yes! Oh, baby! Merciful heavens! Oh, baby, that's it! Oh! Oh! Ohh! If you become Four-hour man, see a doctor.
What's the latest superhero gossip? I ask the questions here, Boobinator. So, what's the latest superhero gossip? Paparazzi nabbed Spider-man emerging from the home of Miss May Parker, age 77.
Is it a "May"- December romance? A marriage of convenience? One spidey supervillain had a different take.
Take that, Spider-man! And that!
I told you, I'm not that horrible Spider-man! I'm a widow on fixed income!
I read the tabloids, Spider-man! I know who you are!
"Oh! Ho ho ho! My poor old broken hip!" "Ha ha ha! I'll get you now!" "Okay, show's over. Now let me show you my kung-fu grope." "Get off me, you creepy comic-book guy!"
Stan, honey, dinner's getting cold!
Zounds! I'm caught! But they'll never take me alive. Excelsior!
Stan!