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(Pinocchio is at school)

Pinocchio: Gosh, My first day of school as a real boy!

(Pinocchio walks up to a school bully)

Pinocchio: Hi, I'm Pinocchio.

Bully: I'm gonna call you faggot!

Pinocchio: Faggot?, I used to be made out of a pile of sticks, so I understand how you can make that mistake-

(Pinocchio gets beaten up by the bully; we then see Pinocchio, with a black eye, being served a peanut butter and jelly sandwich in the cafeteria.)

Cafeteria Lady: It's called PB&J. Also known as the Poor Kid Specialz

Pinocchio: I don't mind, (eats sandwich), I'm just happy to eat like a real...

(Pinocchio chokes and falls unconscious)

(Pinocchio is in a hospital bed and Geppetto is with him)

Pinocchio: Wh... what happened?

Geppetto: Apparently... you have a peanut allergy.

(A female doctor enters with a catheter)

Pinocchio: Huh? What's that for?

Female Doctor: It's a catheter. The allergic reaction closed off your pee-tube.

Pinocchio: What's a pee-tube?

Geppetto: I'll be outside... (leaves room)

Pinocchio: N-N, No one has ever touched my pee-pee before.

Female Doctor: You may feel a little pinch.

(She inserts the catheter into Pinocchio's urethra; Pinocchio screams in pain; fade in to when Pinocchio regains consciousness)

Pinocchio: What happened?

Geppetto: The catheter gave you a staph infection, and since you've only been a real boy for a day, your immune system hasn't developed yet.

(Pinocchio suddenly has a seizure)

Male Doctor: Oh no, he's seizing! Get the crash cart! Oh, we'll have to massage his heart, get the rib spreader!

(After using the rib-spreader to open Pinocchio's chest, it is too late - Pinocchio dies)

(Cut to Pinocchio's funeral, where Geppetto stands beside the Blue Fairy and Jiminy Cricket while another man grieves nearby)

Blue Fairy: Hey, real boys die. But no, "I'm Geppetto, I cant be happy with the world's only sentient puppet".

(Geppetto glares at her)

Blue Fairy: Sorry for your loss.

(static transition)

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