( The Imperials and Vader waiting for the Emperor to leave his shuttle )
Vader: Welcome, my master! The Death Star construction is-- ( is interrupted by the Emperor )
Palpatine: Yeah, great. Fine. Whatever! The flight was fucking nightmare, man! My stupid tray-table broke and I ended up with a gallon of coffee on my crotch. It was like dunking my wang in hot lava, something YOU have some experience with, I guess. Uh? Right?
Vader: Umm, Yeah... (Palpatine laughs sarcastically).
( The Emperor Is seen with Vader at a conveyor belt.)
Vader: Is that your-
Palpatine: Oh, for the Hundredth Time, That's that same stupid black bag! Mine doesn't have a stripe! It's like that stripy bag is mocking me. (gives the stripy bag the middle finger) Fuck You Stripy Bag! Well, my suitcase is gone, sacrificed to the airport gods. Now I'm here for two fucking weeks with one fucking robe! Alright, Now it's sticking to me like a wet Kleenex! (Sees a surf board) Wow. For real?
( the Emperor is seen near a gift shop wearing different clothes )
Palpatine: Yeah, guess I'll be killing myself then!
( He is then seen on his throne.)
Palpatine: Good chair, good chair. Nice lumbar support. Great view of ( turns his chair to the window ) utter blackness. Oh for... I'm right under the air conditioning vent and the chair's bolted to the floor?!? Who's the braniac-- Hey, Crayola! ( a guard comes ) Help me shut this vent. Yeah. Reach up there with your Staff of Ra and-- ( the vent falls of and more air comes out ) Hey, Wanna see me tempt fate? COULD THIS DAY GET ANY WORSE?!? I did it ironically so I think I'm safe.
( One hour later... )
Palpatine: What are you doing?! No! Put Me Down! (Gets tossed down a shaft by Vader.) AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!