Micro Machines Man here to tell you about the genuine original marvelous majestic Micro Machines Street Zapper colossal collection.
Make these cars zoom and vroom, veer and steer, jump and bump, flip and fly.
Micro Machines Man used to own a 1965 Mustang convertible, but his wickedly witch defying wife took it and everything he owned in a shockingly sadistic divorce proceeding that left yours truly emasculated - devoid of testicles, nada, nothing but an endless empty scrotum swinging, swaying between his legs like a portentous pendulum tick-tock ticking away the fleeting remains of yesterday’s youth, vim and vigor.
Yes, the sea cow from the black hole of despair married Micro Machines Man, not for the everlasting promise of eternal tongue-tickling, but for an amorphous amore that only a sick sad succubus could inflict on a rapidly balding butthead with poor potential prospects. I’ll never see my kids again!
Tonight’s the night of nights when a ridged Remington rifle barrel gets frenetically fellated and brain matter goes splitter splatter and the big blanket of dim, dark, darkness gives cold comfort to a broken bitter bastard!
One more pointless product you can’t take with you to the grave. By Galoob!