Jeannie is cleaning the lamp with a feather duster with her telekinetic powers.
Major Nelson: Welp! They cut NASA's budget again!
Major Nelson: Early retirement with no benefits!
Major Nelson: I... I-I think I might be having a breakdown, Jeannie.
Jeannie: Oh, no! Does Master need a back rub?
Major Nelson: Are you listening to me?! Master needs a damn minute to himself!
Jeannie: Hmph! Maybe I'll just spend the night in my bottle.
Major Nelson: Your bottle's gonna spend the night up your ass if you don't conjure up some whiskey and a fistful of pills!
*Canned laughter*
*Jeannie conjures up the whiskey and pills and Nelson eats all the pills and drinks the whole bottle*
*It changes to NASA's Mission Control room*
Mission Control Head: Alright, main boosters are ready for a "go". It's a beautiful morning for a launch, ladies and gentlemen.
*Alarm beeps*
Mission Control Head: Uh, hold on.
*The Head and his friend raise their heads up in confusion and shock then lower back down*
Mission Control Head: Uh, Charlie Delta, there appears to be a giant old-timey lollipop with an erection approaching your shuttle. Be unaware.
*The giant happy horny lollipop slowly approaches Charlie Delta's shuttle while laughing and giggling with an erect giant cock and balls while joyous music plays*
Major Nelson: *slurring* I'm here for my exit interview, space f***!
Jeannie: Master! Oh, please!
Major Nelson: Please wish for it to start raining eyeballs?! *laughs* You got it!
Mission Control Head: Gentlemen, we have some weather.
*eyeballs start raining from the sky*
Major Nelson: I am Mictēcacihuātl, the Aztec goddess of death!
*Two soldiers are trying to fend off a giant rolling pin, and the rolling pin kills the both of them at the same time for shooting it while the soldiers scream and die while the last of the eyeballs landed and bounced off*
*Then, the Werewolf and Unicorn from Werewolf Vs. Unicorn fight and brawl while neighing and roaring*
Charlie Delta Astronaut: Uh, Mission Control, we have a visual on the cast of "Good Times" chewing on the fuel cable for thruster three. Jimmy "J.J." "Kid Dy-no-mite" Walker is almost through the insulation. Can you confirm? Over.
Mission Control Head: Uh, Negative, Charlie Delta. Attempting to communicate with a sentient Victorian doll. Over.
*The Head then turns around after a giant shadow covers him, and gets shocked and surprised.*
*A giant Victorian doll bellows out a loud, deep and demonic roar, much to The Head's fright*
Mission Control Head: I now know what Hell sounds like. Recommend a tactical nuclear strike at my position. *takes out a gun and points it to his head* Tell my family I love them. *pulls the trigger and kills himself*
Jeannie: Oh, there, there, Master.
Major Nelson: *chuckling* Yes. A giant butt.
*The giant sentient ass rubs itself on Charlie Delta's shuttle while everyone's screaming in fear*
Major Nelson: Oh, I showed them all, didn't I? Oh!
Jeannie: Ooohhh.
*A tactical nuclear bomb flies up in the air for a few seconds, then its shadow covers Nelson and Jeannie, and finally destroys and kills everyone while its explosion cloud appears*
*It then changes to static and goes to the next skit*