(Colonel Wilhelm Klink is reading a message)
Colonel Klink: Prepare for a visit from the Fuehrer himself. (gasps) Mein Gott! Everything must be schpick und schpan! Hogan, will you and your men promise to behave?
(Cut to Hulk Hogan and a group of other professional wrestlers)
Hogan: You'd better believe it, brother. What's Hitler gonna do when these twenty-four inch pythons come for you?
Colonel Klink: Hogan!!!
(Cut to title screen: "Hogan's Heroes"; Sergeant Hans Schultz walks out in front)
Sergeant Schultz: I know nothing!
(Schultz gets beat up by King Kong Bundy, who then waves at the camera)
Hogan: Okay, boys. The big man's visit is the perfect time to make our escape. All right, what have we got?
(Jimmy Hart opens a secret panel in the wall, revealing a storage)
Iron Sheik: We have this rope, the flashlights, the fake passports, Playboys, and...uh...these.
Macho Man Randy Savage: Oh, yeah! Snap into a Slim Jim!
Roddy Piper: Holy shit! Slim Jims! I love Slim Jims!
(Hogan and the other fighters are standing near the entrance to the compound)
(A Nazi guard is at his post)
Hogan: Roddy, we need your stealth. Go take out the guard real quiet-like and the rest of us will sneak past --
Roddy: Gotcha, Hogan!
(Roddy approaches the guard)
Roddy: Hey hey hey, you fucking Nazi! How are ya?
Guard: Was?
(Roddy beats up the guard, slamming him into the gate)
(Hogan shakes his head in disgust, then beckons for the others)
(Adolf Hitler and Sgt. Schultz are walking up to the gate)
Hitler: Everything had better be in tip top shape.
Sergeant Schultz: Jawohl, mein Fuehrer!
(All of a sudden, Hogan brings the gate down on both of them)
Hogan: Hulkamania's running wild!
(Macho Man Randy Savage follows)
Savage: Macho madness is coming at ya!
("Leaping" Lanny Poffo leaps on and off the fallen gate)
Lanny: Leaping Lanny Poffo's going boffo!
Hitler: Mein schnitzel...
(Sergeant Slaughter walks up to them)
Slaughter: Oh, no. Sergeant Slaughter's not done with you two.
(Cut to wrestlers in a fighting arena)
(Hitler is in the center of the ring, and Hogan hits him with a burning chair)
Announcer: And Hitler takes a flaming chair to the spine in what will surely go down in history as one of Wrestlemania's greatest moments. Sergeant Schultz, do you have any comment?
Sergeant Schultz: I know nothing!