{A giraffe finds himself stuck in quicksand.}
Giraffe: Uh-oh.
{A screen reminiscent of old-school TV appears with the words STAGE ONE ~ DENIAL while an organ plays a haunting, short melody. The screen returns to the Giraffe, who has sank lower in the quicksand.}
Giraffe: It's no big deal... It's probably not even quicksand. I'mma have a good laugh about this tonight with the guys. [CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY]
{A screen reminiscent of old-school TV appears with the words STAGE TWO ~ ANGER. The screen returns to the Giraffe, who is only a little deeper in the quicksand.}
Giraffe: Well this is just f**king perfect! Stupid quicksand; Stupid jungle!! [GRUNTS], I wanna bite someone in the face! Motherf**ker! Motherf**ker!! MOTHERF**KER!!! Agh, F**K!! This stupid jungle, [GROANS]. F****K!!
{A screen reminiscent of old-school TV appears with the words STAGE THREE ~ BARGAINING. The screen returns to the Giraffe, who is only a little deeper in the quicksand.}
Giraffe: Are you there God? It's me, Giraffe. L-listen, if you would just give me a mulligan on this quicksand thing, I promise...I promise...no more peeing on Your shorter creatures. [CHUCKLES, STUTTERING]: Wh--d'ya--got a deal?
{A screen reminiscent of old-school TV appears with the words STAGE FOUR ~ DEPRESSION. The screen returns to the Giraffe, who is now halfway up the neck in quicksand.}
Giraffe: [SOBBING LOUDLY] Mommy!
{A screen reminiscent of old-school TV appears with the words STAGE FIVE ~ ACCEPTANCE. The screen returns to the Giraffe, who is now up to his chin in quicksand.}
Giraffe: You know somethin'? I'm cool with this. I-I bet... I bet heaven has all the tender leaves I can eat... and everyone gets their own Slurpee machine. Yeah... Take me, sweet death! I await your loving embrace! {The Giraffe's head thunks on the quicksand.} Oomph. Wha...? I think I hit the bottom. {Struggles a moment, to no avail.} F**k...
{A small rodent comes and stands by the quicksand, squeaking for a moment. Giraffe then motions his head to let the mouse use it as a stepping stone across the sand as the mouse does just that and we cut to static.}