(Part 3 starts)
Bitch Pudding: Whew. Safe.
(Bitch Pudding witnesses the Squirrel Wizard using magic spells to murder the Schlorps.)
Bitch Pudding: Oh, shit! They're getting massacred! Who cares about those purple peckers? They never should have trusted me. Or...or helped me?
Narrator: And at that moment, Bitch Pudding's heart grew three sizes bigger. Uh, metaphorically. You know, you'll just have to take my word for it.
The Squirrel Wizard: Die, you miserable Schlorps! And when you meet God, slap that motherfucker in the face, because existence is nothing but his cruel joke on all of us!
Bitch Pudding: Sorry, spunk-sponge! The Schlorps are under my protection!
(A mutilated Schlorp coughs up blood and dies.)
Bitch Pudding: Uh starting now!
(Bitch Pudding starts to fight against the Squirrel Wizard.)
The Squirrel Wizard: Ooh!
Bitch Pudding: Blick! (still fighting with him) - Oh!
The Squirrel Wizard: - Suck it!
Bitch Pudding: Oh! Blam! Blam! Blam! Blam! Blaaaam!
The Squirrel Wizard: Aaah! For Trevor! Punch! Punch!
Bitch Pudding: Blam! Blam! Ba-ba-ba-blam!
(she knocks the Squirrel Wizard to the ground)
The Squirrel Wizard: Ugh! Trevor! My fuzzy little angel!
(Bitch Pudding takes his magic wand)
The Squirrel Wizard: Just do it! End me! Use any death spell you choose! Just say the magic words and end my pain!
Bitch Pudding: Abracadabra.
(Bitch Pudding stabs the Squirrel Wizard through the head with his wand, finally killing him)
Bitch Pudding: Eat shit.
(Grandpappy Schlorp walks into frame, horrified at the scene)
Grandpappy Schlorp: My Schlorps, gone. All gone.
Bitch Pudding: As your champion, a eulogy is probably in order. (clears throat)
(Grandpappy Schlorp gives a nod to another Schlorp)
Bitch Pudding: What can be said-
(She is knocked out by a Schlorp with a baseball bat from behind)
Bitch Pudding: Ow!
(Few hours later, she wakes up and finds out she is in a biplane)
Bitch Pudding: Huh? Where? What?
Pilot Schlorp: On behalf of "Fuck You Airlines," go fuck yourself.
Bitch Pudding: (falls) Aaaaaaaaagh! Oooooh! Unh! Unh! Unh! (lands) I-I I'm home.
(Bitch Pudding suddenly spots a carnival in Pastryville celebrating her supposed death)
Bitch Pudding: What the fuck?
Pastryville Citizen #1: Toss Bitch Pudding in the volcano and win a prize!
Fudge Turnover: Volcano-fried Bitch Pudding on a stick!
Buttermilk Biscuits: I hate you, Bitch Puddin'!
(Bitch Pudding turns around to see a mural of her being dropped into the volcano by the mail-delivery bird)
Bitch Pudding: They were all in on it! The whole town tried to kill me?!
(cut to the church, where the Pastryville citizens sing a hymn)
Pastryville Citizens: ♪She made our lives a living hell♪
♪So nasty and so mean♪
♪And when Bitch Pudding hit the lava♪
♪You should have heard her scream♪
Raspberry Parfait: The first annual "Bitch Pudding Is Dead" Festival has been a rousing success! For generations to come, we will-
(sniffs)
Raspberry Parfait: Hey, guys, do you smell smoke?
(Everyone finds that the church is on fire - they all scream.)
Fudge Turnover: Oh, shit! The door won't open!
(A Pastryville citizen runs by on fire, screaming. The others attempt to break the church door down)
Fudge Turnover: All together, now.
All: One! Two! Three! Oh! Oh!
(Upon bursting out, they find Bitch Pudding - alive and well, and holding a minigun - in front of them)
Bitch Pudding: Blam.
(As revenge, Bitch Pudding guns down every last citizen. A bloodied, mortally wounded Raspberry Parfait grabs onto Bitch Pudding with her last dying ounces of strength.)
Bitch Pudding:Remember when I said I'd shoot you last?
Raspberry Parfait:I have absolutely no memory of that.
Bitch Pudding: Must have been a fantasy I had when I was masturbating!
Raspberry Parfait: Fuck you, Bitch Pudding...
(Raspberry Parfait falls over and dies; Bitch Pudding surveys the dead bodies as heavy metal music plays)
(One day later, Bitch Pudding is seen leaving Pastryville)
Bitch Pudding: So that's my story. I probably should have done a voiceover through the whole thing, but I didn't feel like it. Now, the only question is what does the future hold?
(A car arrives, driven by Nick Fury of the Avengers.)
Nick Fury: Bitch Pudding. You have become a part of a larger Universe.
(Credits; when it ends, Bitch Pudding is seen having stolen Nick Fury's car, driving away.)
Bitch Pudding: Da-da-da-da~! Blam!
Nick Fury: What a bitch.