[cut to Stephen King's house. Stephen King walks out in a purple gown, yawns and stretches.]
Stephen King: An evening devoid of nightmares and dreamscapes!
[He picks up the morning newspaper in front of his door. Just as he starts to flip through it, Dean Koontz pops up, startling him.]
Dean Koontz: Well, hey there, Kingsy!
Stephen King: [screams] Dean Koontz?!
Dean Koontz: That's me! I hope you like big thrills, cause old Koontzy just bought a place down the road! [walks into King's house] 'Course it ain't quite as nice as your house, foundation's a little creaky, doesn't really hold water, but same neighbourhood right? [sees King's Ipod] Ooh, got an Ipod, eh? Old Koontzy went with the Zune. Almost as good, not quite as well reviewed, doesn't quite give the shelf-space an Ipod does, but it costs the same! Which is weird.
Stephen King: Yeah... [walks out of the house.]
Dean Koontz: Always room for second best, I say!
[cut to Stephen King driving his car. Koontz, running at top speed, catches up to him.]
Dean Koontz: So, you've got a car that looks just like Christine. Lotta iconic images in your box, I don't know about all that. Ol' Koontzy takes the bus. Not quite as fun getting from A to B, but it's an easy ride!
Stephen King: [visibly annoyed] How did you find out where I lived?
Dean Koontz: Hey, what would you say to a Koontzy-King collabo? "Koontzy and King"! That's got a nice ring to it!
Stephen King: This conversation is over [accelerates].
Dean Koontz: Now, hold on, Kingsy. You just let Ol' Koontzy worry about the ending. I don't want the end of the Koontzy-King collabo ending with a giant frickin' spider!
Stephen King: Oh, it won't! [with this, he rams Koontzy into the wall his car is driving along. Koontzy screams. We then cut to two cops on the scene with King.]
Cop 1: Looks like your evil car killed another one, Mr. King.
Cop 2: What a tragedy. We've lost one of America's... authors.
Stephen King: [chuckles evilly] No use asking questions about the supernatural [as he says this, a cash register dings and he pulls out a roll of money.], right officers?
Cop 1: [accepts the bribe] Of course, Mr. King. Have a nice day.
[Stephen King turns to the camera, smiling, with a thumbs-up. He winks, and we cut to static.]