Transcription:Annie's Super Sweet 16

Woman Announcer: I'm turning 16!

Annie Warbucks: Hey bitches! I'm Annie Warbucks. When I was an orphan, I dreamed of being rich. Now that I am, I dream of showing other orphans just how fuckin' rich I am!

Annie Warbucks: So I'm throwing a super bitchin' sweet 16! As you can see, I love red. So that's the theme of my party. Red hair. Red dress. Red vodka. And for the entertainment, who the fuck wrote "simply red"?

Oliver Warbucks: I thought they'd fit your theme, darling.

Annie Warbucks: Don't screw this up, geez. Oh my gosh! This party is going to be off the hizook! So I've created super special invitations!

Molly: Thanks for the invite, Annie.

Annie Warbucks: Um, you didn't get an invitation. You are the invitation! Isn't that clever for your oldem orphan?

(Annie is now in her dressing room putting on make-up)

Annie Warbucks: Daddy's so stupid! I told him that for my birthday, I told I wanted the two round objects I seemed to be missing. And he got me a boob job! Uh-uh! No peeking. These suns'll come out tomorrow.

(Annie and Oliver are seen picking out a car for her sweet 16)

Annie Warbucks: So I took daddy out to the car dealership to pick out my birthday gift.

Oliver Warbucks: Well, Annie. How bout a little red corvette?

Annie Warbucks: I want a big red corvette!

Oliver Warbucks: Okay.

Annie Warbucks: With huge diamonds for head lights!

Oliver Warbucks: Sure thing.

Annie Warbucks: And solid gold seats!

Oliver Warbucks: Of course, my dear.

Annie Warbucks: And,uh, um really big, huge...

Oliver Warbucks: Bring it on, baby. I'm daddy fuckin' Warbucks!

(Annie is seen in a kitchen where a chef puts down his Red Velvet cake for her birthday)

Annie Warbucks: Ugh! This is not red velvet cake! How can you suck at so many things when it's in your name, Punjab?!

Punjab: Fuck that girl.

(Annie is seen with her hair straightened and her sweet 16 party is occuring)

Guest: Happy birthday, Annie!

Annie Warbucks: I got my hair straightened so that just like for once I didn't look like a 75 year-old retiree.

Guest: You're so right! You did look like a 75 year old retiree!

Annie Warbucks: Get the fuck outta my party!

(Annie is seen dancing on the red carpet while her dress continues flying into the air)

Guest: She was a big hit on the red carpet!

Man Guest: I saw her other red carpet! More like a welcome mat!

Annie Warbucks: My present had better be huge, old man.

Oliver Warbucks: Annie, I've gotten you the biggest reddest gift money can buy.

(Mars is seen big and red from a distance in outer space)

Oliver Warbucks: Mars!

Annie Warbucks: This has been the sweetest sweet 16 ever!

(Annie is seen on Mars with a space helmet and uniform)

Annie Warbucks: *groan* Mars sucks! Sandy! Is that you?

(A space robot with a camera for a face rides by Annie)

Annie Warbucks: Wait! Come back!

(Annie trips over a large hole in Mars which makes her helmet fall off)

Annie Warbucks: *scream*

(The space robot turns around and Annie's head explodes and is seen through the robot's reflection)