Transcription:Not Me

(The scene opens with Thelma and Bil in the bathroom. Captions appear underneath the circle as the characters speak.)

Thelma: I don't know what got into you last night, but Mama liked!

Bil: What? My meeting didn't end until 3 a.m. When I got home, I just crashed on the couch.

Thelma: If by "crashed on the couch" you mean dined at the Y...

Bil: Well, I wasn't even in our bed, but I'd sure like to know who was.

Thelma: Oh, stop pretending. I certainly didn't split it, hit it, and quit it myself!

Bil: Well, it was definitely NOT ME! You gave it to someone else!

(They slam the door shut. As the two start arguing, a figment with the words "NOT ME" on his chest starts tiptoeing by the closed door. He listens to the argument.)

Thelma: This is the best march I've had in years.

Bil: Well, it was NOT ME!

Thelma: Well I wish that NOT ME would come back!

(Not Me makes sounds with his tongue. the segment ends.)