Transcription:Welcome to the Spoilers

HOST: Experiencing a twist ending at the end of a movie can be fun. You can get in on that fun without having to sit through all that Hollywood crap. Enjoy.

(The Crying Game)

(A man is making out with a woman in a robe. He takes off her robe, and there is a censor over her thigh with the word "penis" on it. The man vomits all over the "woman's" body.)

WOMAN: Are we still going to do it?

(The Empire Strikes Back)

DARTH VADER: Turn to the dark side, and join me.

LUKE SKYWALKER: I'll never join you! You killed my father!

VADER: No, Luke. I am your father.

LUKE: That's not true! That's impossible!

VADER: And Princess Leah is your sister.

LUKE: That's not true! That's...improbable.

VADER: And the Empire will be defeated by Ewoks!

LUKE: That's...chk...very unlikely.

VADER: And as a child, I built C3-PO!

LUKE: Huh?

(Vader is sipping tea and Luke is smoking a cigarette)

VADER: And the force? Well, that's just microscopic bacteria in your bloodstream called midi-chlorians.

LUKE: Look, if you're not going to take this seriously, I'm out. (walks away safely)

(Sleepaway Camp)

(There is a naked girl standing with a "penis" censor over her thigh)

CAMPER 1: Oh, my god! Angela's the killer and she was really a boy!

CAMPER 2: Oh, my god! Somebody remembered this movie and wrote a comedy sketch about it!

(The Village)

IVY WALKER: Is anyone there? I come from a village where we think it's 1886. I've broken our taboo about entering the forest to find medicine for my fiancee. Hello?

(run over by a bus, M. Night Shyamalan drives up in a forest ranger outfit)

IVY: That...that was a really weak twist.

SHYAMALAN: Yeah, sorry about that folks.

HOST: Wasn't that great? And, as an added twist, I'm just three ducks in a man costume!

(silence)

HOST: Goodnight, folks!