Transcription:Fire Insurance

[Gary and his fellow Stormtrooper Carl are at Uncle Owen and Aunt Beru's farm, as Gary tells Beru about what happened to him on on "Take Your Daughter to Work Day" over cookies and blue milk.]

Gary: And then Lord Vader shows up, and he's all (imitates Darth Vader) "What's this little girl doing here?" (Beru laughs) It was not a good day to be wearing white armor -- let's just put it that way.

Beru: I haven't laughed this hard in ages. I'm so happy you two stopped by.

Gary: (picks up a cookie) You know, I thought going door to door looking for those droids was gonna suck. But if it gets me out of the heat and filled up with cookies and blue milk, I'm all for it. And speaking of blue milk, could I use your bathroom, Beru?

Beru: Of course. Down the hall on the left.

''[In the bathroom, Gary has finished using the toilet and flushes, then he washes his hands in the sink, dries them with the towel on the rack next to a lit candle, struts a bit, and poses in front of the mirror, all while humming Max Rebo's song. Gary them opens a drawer and pulls out a bottle.]''

Gary: (reading the label on the bottle) "Apply directly to rectal fissures"? Ugh! (drops the bottle back in the drawer and slams it shut, causing the shelves in front of him to break, but he manages to catch all the bottles that fall off. Unfortunately, the other shelf breaks, and a huge plate rolls off and knocks the towel rack into the candle, setting the towel on fire) Uh-oh. (tries to fan the flames with his bare hands) Not good! Not good, not good. Uh... (runs over to the sink, grabs another towel, runs back to the fire, and tries to put it out with the towel, but the towel also catches fire, as does the entire bathroom) Oh s**t! (throws the buring towel at the toilet seat, which also catches fire) Uh... (runs back to the sink, turns the tap on, and tries splashing water all over the flames in vain) Uh, uh, uh... (the fire spreads even more) Oh, it's spreading, oh. (runs out of the bathroom)

[Back in the kitchen, Gary rushes in, as Beru refills Carl's glass of blue milk.]

Gary: Uh, Carl, we should go -- now!

Beru: Don't be silly, Gary. You haven't even seen the droids yet.

Gary: (lifts Carl off his seat) Oh, that's OK. I don't think they're the droids we're looking for. (starts pushing Carl out of the room)

Carl: All right, all right, Gary.

Owen: (entering the shot with a bag of groceries) Hi, Beru. (wipes the sweat off his forehead) Ooh, it's hot out there.

Beru: (as smoke can be seen pouring out of the house) Owen, these young men are here to see the droids you bought yesterday.

Owen: (sniffs) Is something burning?

Gary: (runs off, pulling Gary behind him by the hand) Gotta go! Thanks for your time!

[Gary and Carl are now outside Owen and Beru's house]

Carl: Gary, what's wrong with you? It's like 165 deg --

Gary: (points at the buring house) Look! (the two Stormtroopers watch the smoke and flames pour out out the house, as Owen and Beru's voices can be heard from inside)

Beru: Oh my god, Owen!

Owen: Beru, what are you doing? Call the fire department!

Beru: My photo albums! I can't leave them!

Owen: No, baby, no! We'll make new memories! (the two Stormtroopers look at each other)

Gary: Run. Just run.

Carl: Oh, now we're running. (gets ready to run, but Gary puts his hand on his shoulder to stop him)

Gary: Single file, single file! We'll blame it on the sand people! (the two tiptoe away, as Owen and Beru emerge from the house as blazing skeletons)

Owen: (as Beru screams and falls over dead) Oh, I'm burning alive!

(Channel Flip)