Transcription:Damnit, CHiPs

Speeder: Aw, damnit, CHiPs

(The CHiPs, who are shaped like real chips, walk up with theme music playing)

CHiP #1: License and registration, please--OW!

(Speeder smiles and takes a bite out of CHiP #1)

Speeder: You are freakin' delicious!

CHiP #1 and CHiP #2 draw their guns.

CHiP #1: Hey, easy pal!

(CHiP #3 pulls up)

CHiP #3: You boys need a little backup?

CHiP #1: Who's the new guy?

CHiP #3: Name's "Pringle"

CHiP #2: Something's a little too perfect about you, something doesn't STACK UP.

Pringle: Oh, I stack up, I stack up real nice.

(Speeder drives away)

Pringle: Not so fast, buddy.

(Pringle lassos the speeder out of the car, which then explodes)

CHiP #1: Wow, that was real ranch-style, Pringle!

Pringle: You know it.

(cut to Police Station)

CHiP #1: And then he just roped the guy! It was beautiful, chief.

Chief (resembles a Cheeto): Yeah, but it went against department protocol and we had to can him.

(Pringle struggling in a Pringles can): I'm a good cop!