Transcription:Screw Youssical the Musical

Narrator: It started to rain at a quarter to two when the children both cried

Brother & Sister (together): We’ve got nothing to do

Narrator: They played their kerplunkas, and spun their spindaddies, they even found Mother’s vibrator-atties. When suddenly there came a knock at the door. The boy nudged his sister

Brother: Go get it, you whore!

Narrator: She rose from her seat and walked towards the noise

Sister: Who could it be?

Narrator: She hoped it was boys. But what entered the house through the fog oh so thick was a cat in a hat with an e-normous dick. He sang a short song and played a few toots when all of a sudden he noticed poor Boots. The boy searched around for a pen and a pad

Brother: This guy is a pro, much better than dad.

Narrator: But before the two children could learn a new trade, the cat pushed them outside

Cat: I’m trying to get laid.

Narrator: So with no where to go but over the hill, the children set off for the town of Whoreville. They passed a few vagrants, a hooker, a corpse; trying their best not to vomit of course. Though it got pretty hard as they passed by a can where a man tried to (bleep) out some blue eggs and spam. Finally they arrived at their mom’s place of work as a jolly old man walked out with a smirk. It was Itchy McGray who was there everyday. And though his doctors sure pleaded he could not stay away. He had caught whore diseases, he had picked at whore scabs, why he even picked up a case of whore crabs. But all of a sudden, he started to run. As the children’s drunk father showed up with a gun. He was mean, he was mad, he was seven feet tall, but the bulge in his pants was two sizes too small. Which may have explained why he went on a spree of shooting the whores as they started to flee.

Father: One bitch, two bitch, old bitch, new bitch.

Narrator: He said with a laugh as their bodies did twitch. He stared at his wife as he squeezed on his glock.

Father: I know it’s your job but why’d you hop on my pop?

Mother: We needed the cash

Narrator: She said through her tears

Mother: And besides, you haven’t touched me in years. But I’ve got just the thing!

Narrator: She knew just what to do

Mother: Let’s go home right now and make three kids, not two.

Narrator: And so the kid’s father got his own way. And the bulge in his pants grew three sizes that day. And the low-income family began life anew. At least ‘till next month when the rent would come due.