Transcription:Sushi Rolls

Sagat and Ryu from Street Fighter are facing each other in combat.

Sagat: We meet again, Ryu! Only this time, we fight...TO THE DEATH!!!

Ryu: Actually, no. It's, uh, to knockout. Best two out of three. Remember? It was all covered in the packet?

Sagat: Um, sorry. Uh, the what now?

Ryu: The packet.

He pulls out a packet.

Ryu: I spent weeks putting together? You don't have the packet?

Sagat: Oh, right! Right. No, I have it. Yeah.

Sagat goes to his bag to pull out his packet.

Sagat: Just, just, uh... it's in the bag.

Ryu's cell phone rings and he pulls it out of his karate shirt and answers it.

Ryu: Yeah? Well, Ken, if your opponent's late you give him a call. There's a contact sheet in the packet.

Cut to Ken Masters on the docks talking to Ryu on his cell phone.

Ken: Let's see...Contact sheet...Contact sheet...No, I don't see it. You must've forgotten to put it in.

Cut back to Ryu.

Ryu: Fine. I'll get it for you.

Ryu's phone beeps.

Ryu: Hold on.

Switches calls.

Ryu: What's the problem, Guile?

Cut to Guile talking on his cell phone while in a bath house. There are men sitting on a seat wearing towels and E. Honda is opposite of him.

Guile: I'll tell you the problem. E. Honda's venue is a bath house! Like a full on "We're all guys here, so let's get naked" bath house!

E. Honda: What? In my culture, it's a familiar setting.

Guile: No one told me that I would be fighting with all of these sushi rolls hanging out!

Cut back to Ryu.

Ryu: IT WAS ALL DESCRIBED IN THE PA-

Ryu's phone beeps again.

Ryu: Hold on a minute!

Switches calls.

Ryu: What is it?!

Cut to Blanka on a telephone in a hotel lobby holding a chihuahua and wearing a suit.

Blanka: (Screaming)

Cut back to Ryu.

Ryu: No, don't you scream at me! It's specifically noted that your hotel doesn't allow pets! We-

Ryu's phone beeps again.

Ryu: Aah!

Switches calls.

Ryu: WHAT??!!

Cut back to Ken.

Ken: It's been twenty minutes. I don't think E. Honda's coming.

Cut back to Ryu.

Ryu: ''E. ''Honda?

Ryu opens the packet.

Ryu: You're not fighting ''E. ''Honda. You're fighting a Honda.

Cut back to Ken facing a Honda automobile.

Ken: I'm fighting a car?

Cut back to Ryu.

Ryu: Yes.

Cut back to Ken.

Ken: That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard.

Cut back to Ryu.

Ryu: It was in the packet! You know what?! From now on, you lose your packet, you are out of the tournament!

Cut back to Ken punching the car.

Ken (Sarcastically): Fine, fine! I'm punching the car! Oh, he's not hitting back. How exciting. Wow, what a great idea! (Normal) Hey. Hey, this is kinda fun.

Ken starts using his Street Fighter moves on the Honda. Cut back to Ryu seething while holding onto his cell phone.

Sagat (Off-screen): Tiger! Tiger!

A burst of flame is heard. Ryu turns around to face Sagat and it is revealed that Sagat burned his packet.

Sagat: Oh, man! I accidentally just Tiger Punched my packet, dude! Heh. That is classic Sagat. I mean, I don't know what happened there.

Ryu's cell phone rings and he answers it.

Ryu: This better be good, M. Bison.

Cut to M. Bison in the world of Q*bert. Q*bert, a snake and a ball are bouncing around. M. Bison is standing on top of the pyramid.

M. Bison: I think I got the wrong packet, man.

Q*bert hops onto a rainbow platform and hovers straight to the top where M. Bison punches him off the platform.

Sketch ends.

Q*bert jumps