Transcription:Codename: The Abortionator

Announcer: The makers of Grand Larceny: San Diego are back with the ultimate greatest hit! Over 40 hours of original gameplay from the authority in balls-to-the-wall action! Shoot your parents! Urinate on the homeless! Kick a puppy! Play head-to-head or online! Make sweet, sweet love to your hot cousin -- or your hot cousin's mentally disabled friend! Take out your aggression the old-fashioned way -- with a motor vehicle! Extra points for family members! Unlock expert modes and characters like Bam Margera! Rated "E" for Everyone.