Transcription:Robot Chicken Telethon


 * [On the set of the Robot Chicken Telethon set, Fidel Castro, Six Million Peso Man, Humping Robot, Bloopers Host, Mad Scientist, Little Drummer Boy, Eagle-Eye Smith, Robot Chicken, Alien, and Nerd are all seated with telephones. Seth Green and Matthew Senreich are also present.]'
 * Seth Green: Welcome back everybody, I'm still Robot Chicken executive producer Seth Green.
 * Matthew Senreich: And I'm still Robot Chicken co-creator Matt Senreich.
 * Seth Green: Not enough of you have been calling to support us getting a third season. But we're gonna change all that! Co-head writer Douglas Goldstein, bring out that adorable puppy. [Douglas Goldstein enters the set with a puppy, happily barking] Now listen carefully, if you guys don't call the number on the bottom of the screen right now, [Matt brandishes a double-barrelled shotgun] Matt here is gonna shotgun-blast Schnuckles' brains all over the floor, so start calling, bitches! We're not kidding, you have two minutes to-- [gets cut off when Matt shoots the puppy] (bleep)! Dude, what the (bleep)?!
 * Matthew Senreich: Sorry, my finger slipped! My bad!
 * Seth Green: [whispering] Dude, I thought we weren't gonna kill the dog?
 * Matthew Senreich: [whispering] Dude, it slipped. I'm sorry.
 * [Douglas exits, dragging the puppy's dead body along.]
 * Seth Green: Well um, [thinks for a second, then gets another idea] let's have co-writer Tom Root bring out Arnold the monkey. [whispering to Matt] Matt, you really gotta be careful!
 * Matthew Senreich: Okay, okay.
 * [Tom Root enters the set with a screeching monkey, who jumps about.]
 * Seth Green: [grabbing the monkey] Arnold! Arnold, it's OK, it's OK! Shh shh shh. Now, let's get some phone calls-- [gets cut of when Matt shoots the monkey dead] Matt, what the hell?!?
 * Matthew Senreich: Somebody put vasaline on this trigger!
 * Seth Green: I put a ten thousand dollar deposite on that monkey! I'm never gonna get that back!
 * Matthew Senreich: I'm really, really sorry!
 * Seth Green: Give me the gun!
 * Matthew Senreich: No!
 * [The two men start struggling for the shotgun.]
 * Seth Green: Gimme!
 * Matthew Senreich: Let go! [accidentally shoots off the Bloopers Host's head]
 * Bloopers Host: [decapitated head bounces off the Humping Robot] Ow! Hello! [Seth and Matt stop struggling.]
 * Seth Green: Matt! You-you shot the Bloopers Host!!!
 * [The telephones start ringing, and the various characters answer them.]
 * Matthew Senreich: Seth, listen.
 * Nerd: Hey, would you like fries with that?
 * Matthew Senreich: They like the violence. We need more violence! [shoots Tom in the head]
 * Seth Green: Whoa whoa whoa! Matt, that's our friend Tom, he's-- What're you doing?! We can't have a third season if we don't have any writers!!!
 * Matthew Senreich: They love us! [shoots all the Robot Chicken characters dead]
 * ''[Cut to a picture of the Stoopid Monkey covered in video tape, with the message "Please stand by. We are experiencing technical difficulties." Then cut back to the Robot Chicken Telethon, as Seth and Matt once again struggle for the shotgun. Matt gets the upper hand, hits Seth in the head with the shotgun butt, then shoots his head, and finally, the camera. Cut back once again to the Stoopid Monkey.]