Transcription:Leprechaun Gold

(Open at an Irish pub, where a man is sitting himself down and calls for a beer; he spots a leprechaun swigging his drink right next to him)

Guy: Hey-hey, what are you supposed to be? A leprechaun or something?

Leprechaun: Oh sure, you got that right, lad. One of the wee folk, a natural-born son of beautiful mother Ireland. (swigs down his drink and burps)

Guy: Uh-huh, okay. So if I catch you, do I get your pot of gold.

Leprechaun: Of course, me lad. A pot of gold for anyone who can catch...

(The guy catches the leprechaun and a pot of gold instantly appears)

Leprechaun: Aw, buttocks. Bartender, another beer if you...

Guy: Hey check it out, guys! It's a real live leprechaun. He's giving out real gold! Look, I got some!

Leprechaun: Aw, buttocks.

(Cut to three leprechauns in a cave working with counting machines with pots of gold surrounding them; the pots begin dissappearing and they gasp)

Leprechauns: NOOOO!!!

(Several more pots dissapear as they run toward them)

Worker Leprechaun: Darn that Carney.

Leprechaun: What are we going to do?

Worker Leprechaun: (chuckles) I've got an idea.

(Cut back to the pub; a tough guy touches the leprechaun and a pot full of green-colored feces appears)

Tough Guy: Hey, why'd I get a pot of crap?

(Cut back to the cave, the worker is pulling up his pants)

Worker Leprechaun: That'll put an end to that.

(The other two leprechauns high-five each other; static)