Transcription:Energy Crisis

(Cut from static)

A boy and girl are standing next to a Christmas tree that has no presents under it.

Boy and Girl: Aww.

Boy: Mom and dad couldn't afford our Christmas presents because the price of gas is so high.

Girl: But I've been extra good. Swear I'm gonna fuck some shit up next year.

Captain America: Did somebody say "energy crisis"?

In flies Captain America

Boy and Girl: Not in those exact words, Captain America.

Captain America: The high cost of energy is crippling America, kids.

Boy and Girl: But what can we do?

Captain America: We can lick this problem if we all do our part together.

Next to the thermostat.

Captain America: Turn the dial down to 68 degrees, and we'll use less heating oil.

Girl: We're not gonna do that. My feet get cold.

Captain America: Uh, okay. Next tip.

''Next to the TV. Captain America has the plug in his hand.''

<p class="MsoNoSpacing">Captain America: Electronics still use energy even when turned off. Make sure to unplug them.

<p class="MsoNoSpacing">Boy: That sounds exhausting.

<p class="MsoNoSpacing">Girl: Pass.

<p class="MsoNoSpacing">Captain America: Uh,

<p class="MsoNoSpacing">Outside next to a clothes line full of clothes.

<p class="MsoNoSpacing">Captain America: Clothes dryers are 20% of a home's energy bill. Dry your laundry outdoors, and save power.

<p class="MsoNoSpacing">Girl: I’d never wait that long.

<p class="MsoNoSpacing">Boy: Nobody's gonna do that.

<p class="MsoNoSpacing">Captain America: Oh, fine. Fuck you then.

<p class="MsoNoSpacing">''Captain America throws his shield down (which breaks a window). He then storm off getting caught in the clothes line and breaking it.''

<p class="MsoNoSpacing">Back inside mom and dad are awake.

<p class="MsoNoSpacing">Dad: Sorry we couldn't afford gifts this year, kids.

<p class="MsoNoSpacing">Girl: That's okay. It's enough that you don't force us to live like a bunch of broke-ass hippies.

<p class="MsoNoSpacing">Whole Family: Aww.

<p class="MsoNoSpacing">Captain America is sitting in a chair with his uniform hanging on a clothes line outside.

<p class="MsoNoSpacing">Captain America: My feet are fucking freezing.

<p class="MsoNoSpacing">(Cut to static)