Transcription:Tastes Like Rotten Smurfberries


 * PAPA: (taking a dump) (sigh) gotta cut back on the smurfberries. all that fiber turns my intestines into a smurfin' log flume. wonder who the page 3 girl is... ge, Smurfette, shocker... (flushes toilet, the toilet starts overflowing) uh oh, oh no, go down, go down. oh no, OH NO, OH, OH SMURF ME UP THE SMURF!!!
 * (cuts to a scene with Papa and Handy. Handy's covered in shit)
 * HANDY: the village septic tank is smurfed to hell!
 * PAPA: well, handy, were a communist society, so hurry up and fix it for free.
 * HANDY: you dont understand! the tank ruptured! the sewage has smurfed into the water table!
 * (meanwhile)
 * ALLSTAR: ugh, Uncle Gaileo, i feel sick! everything tastes like rotten smurfberries!
 * GAILEO: our water has been contaminated, Allstar!
 * ALLSTAR: so, how does a test tube work underwater exactly?
 * GAILEO: it doent take a scientist to figure out those JERK ASS SMURFS are dumping CRAP in our lake again!
 * (cuts to a scene with three smurfs, they see something in the sky)
 * SMURF 1: are those flying fish!?
 * SMURF 2: i HATE flying fish!
 * SMURF 1: are those flying fish stuffed with DYNAMITE!?
 * SMURF 2: i HATE flying fish stuffed with dy- (a fish collides with the three smurfs, it explodes, killing all three smurfs)
 * (more fish fall from the sky, suicide bombing the smurf village straight to hell)
 * ALLSTAR: i-i really have an ethical problem with this...
 * GAILEO: what? there volenteering. (to the fish while lighting its fuse) just remember; seventy-two fish virgins await you in fish heaven!
 * (back on the battlefield)
 * PAPA: TO ME MY SMURFS! ITS WAR! WAR!!! (theres a huge explosion in the background. a smurf in some kind of shock toddles toward Papa. he cant hear a thing Papa is saying)
 * DEAF: I CANT HEAR! I CANT HEAR!
 * PAPA: you couldnt hear before! your name is Deaf Smurf for gods sakes!
 * DEAF: OH YEAH! WELL, IT STILL SUCKS.
 * (just the the snork army marches on to the battlefield. cut to a scene with Vanity and some other smurf)
 * VANITY: see? like Braveheart. (other smurf smacks him across the face, knocking the unquestionably gay smurf out)
 * (cuts to a scene with a snork opening up a strange gift wrapped box)
 * SNORK: a present! (the box blows up in his stupid face, killing him in the process)
 * ALLSTAR: EVERYONE! STOP PICKING UP THE PRESENTS!!! (time slows down as another snork falls victim to the present bombs) NOOOOOOOOO!!!
 * (nearly all the snorks were soundly defeated by the present bombs. cut to a scene with Brainy Smurf and a bunch of other smurfs)
 * BRAINY: everyone listen to me, were gonna outflank them with a pinster meneuver. then, well encircle them with a blitzkreig
 * SMURF: you dont know what your smurfin' about, brainy!
 * BRAINY: Papa smurf put me in charge. and Papa smurf is always right. because Papa smurf... (sees that he's surrounded by snorks. two seconds later, Brainy is nothing but a head and whatever remained of his body)
 * BRAINY: (amazed) hey its true! the brain does stay alive after desmurfitation! (dies)
 * (back on the battlefeild, the smurf's defences are picking off the snorks, one by one. one of the smurfs gulps down a tank of gasoline and becomes a walking flamethrower, killing the smurfs.)
 * DAFFNEY: stop it you stupid boys! this isnt accomplishing anything!
 * (one of the smurfs stop dead in his tracks)
 * SMURF 1: are you a- are you a- a female!?
 * DAFFNEY: well, sure I am, why?
 * (two more smurfs appear on screen)
 * SMURF 2: we thought there was only one girl in the whole world! (directs attention towards Smurfette) this tired, old, worn out whore over here!
 * SMURFETTE: HEY!
 * (cuts to a scene where the mayor of the snork village and Papa smurf are signing a peace treaty)
 * PAPA: so its agreed, well stop smurfing our turds in your lake
 * (snorks all cheer)
 * MAYOR: and in return, we shall give you photos of our women)
 * (smurfs all cheer)
 * PAPA: ... to masterbate to
 * MAYOR: yes, to masterbate to (Mayor and Papa shake hands, the smurfs and snorks all cheer, but the smurfs are a little more overexcited than the snorks. cut to a scene where Daffney is being paparazzied by the smurfs)
 * DAFFNEY: unbeliveable, rotten scumbag men (GRUNT)
 * (ROBOT CHICKEN CREDITS ROLL)
 * STINGER:
 * (a scene where a fish is talking to satan in hell)
 * SATAN: HAHAHA, YOU STUPID FISH! GET IN THE FRYING PAN!
 * (fish does just that)
 * END