Transcription:Robocop Teaches DARE

[scene starts in chief's office]

Chief: Murphy, every officer needs to do community outreach. Now, you're in charge of middle and elementary's DARE program.

Robocop: Copy.

[cut to classroom]

Robocop: Did every student receive a worksheet?

Students: Yes, Officer Murphy.

Robocop: Drug users. You do not have a worksheet.

Girl: She can have mine.

Robocop: Now, you do not have a worksheet. Every student must have a worksheet. My instructor's kit contains additional worksheets. Now, every student has a worksheet.

Boy: Stop saying "worksheets!"

[boy throws paper airplane at Robocop's visor, Robocop unfolds paper airplane]

Robocop: This is a worksheet. Since I am holding a worksheet, that means one student is without a worksheet.

Boy #2: I'm done!

Robocop: Negative! Your worksheet must be completed after the presentation. Invalid worksheet. You require a new worksheet.

[student throws crumpled up worksheet at Robocop]

Robocop: Is that a worksheet? This is a worksheet. Another student is without a worksheet.

[another student throws crumpled up worksheet at Robocop]

Robocop: Who is currently without a worksheet?

[pan to student]

Boy #3: (aggrivated) OH MY GOD, I WILL PAY YOU TO STOP SAYING "WORKSHEET"!

[cut back to chief's office]

Chief: Murphy, how was your first day?

Robocop: All those kids started using drugs.

[and scene]