Transcription:A Giant Hand

Duke: And finally Joes, don't ask don't tell as been obolished. So, Chuffles, if there's anything you'd like to tell us, I'm asking. Ho! Roadblock. You look different.

Roadblock: Duke, I don't know what's done me this harm. I woke up this morning; me and Flint had switched arms.

Flint: I can't touch Lady Jaye! Not with these! Oh guys, I think I might be a racist.

Duke: Snake Eyes? What happened to you? You look like someone tryed to paint you like spider-man then tossed you in the grass. Has this happened to anyone else?

(Scarlett is seen with marker nipples on her boobs)

Duke: Scarlett? Cover yourself, woman!

Scarlett: Huh? *gasp*

Duke: I don't know how Cobra's doing this, but I'm damn well gonna find out! Yo Joe!

(The GI Joe gang breaks into Cobra's sanctum)

Duke: Cobra! Put your checkbooks away cause this one's coming outta your ass!

Serpentor: What ever voodoo you're using to mangle us, we've had enough! My helmet's not made to come off! I look like Hebert under here and not even a Dennis Prime!

Roadblock: What're you so surprised about?

(Dr. Mindbender mumbles as he approaches the group)

Serpentor: We removed this from Dr. Mindbender's mouth!

Duke: What's going on here? I wanna see Cobra Commander now!

Cobra Commander: I-I couldn't stop it. A giant hand from the heavensss. Taming me to look like enormous brightly colored dynamite.

Duke: What kind of nonsense are you blathering?

(Duke pulls away at Cobra Commander's covers to reveal he has been bifercated from the waist down)

Duke: Woah! What did this?

Cobra Commander: We're nothing, you see. Plain things that've bored, um, ickle-ard. It's judgement daysss.

Scarlett: Duke, I'm scared.

Duke: Don't worry, Scarlett. We'll find whoever or whatever has done this to us.

(A cruel boy is seen twirling a bicycle wheel and pushing a GI Joe character's face onto it)

Cruel Boy: Oh no! Please don't take my face! My beautiful face!

(The cruel boy is shot in the back by Duke's army tank)

Duke: Gotcha, ya massive abomination! Yo Joe!

Roadblock: Uh, did we just kill a kid? I mean, Yo Joe, but I think that was a kid.

(Duke looks up after hearing what Roadblock said)