Transcription:The Book of Your Life

(William and God in heaven walks to the heavenly library. The God found the book and grabs it out.)

God: Ah, here it is.

(The invisible book turns into the book of your life.)

God: The Book of Your Life.

(The book cover says, "William David Reynolds - 1973-2006")

William David Reynolds: Wow! (opens the book) Huh?

God: Just ask the book any question about your life and the answer shall be revealed. (heavenly plause)

William David Reynolds: (Looks at the book.) Uhh.... How many days did I live?

(The words appeared and it says, "11, 972")

William David Reynolds: Cool. How many hours is that?

(The words appeared and it says, "287, 326")

God: It's not a calculator. This is the book of your life.

William David Reynolds: Oooo! How many times did I hear the song, "I Touch Myself" by The Devinals?

(The words appeared and it says, "106")

William David Reynolds: Huh. I thought it would be more than that.

(The words appeared and it says, "Nope")

God: Uh-Why not ask the book about your actions on Earth and how they impacted your loved ones?

William David Reynolds: In a minute. Hey, Book. If I made bricks out of all the poop I ever pooped out and build a six foot high wall out of the bricks, how long can I make that wrong?

(The words appeared and it says, "2.7 miles")

God: Ugh, this is ridiculous. (grabs the book) Book, tell this man how many moments of happiness he gave his friends and family.

William David Reynolds: BORING. Book, could I have filled the empire state building with my own poo?

God: Don't answer that, Book.

William David Reynolds: I wanna know!

God: NO!!

William David Reynolds: YES!!

God: NO!!

William David Reynolds: YES!!

God: THAT DOES IT!!

(The god spelled the clouds with lightning, and he puts William to Hell. The screen skips into Hell where William was on the cooking pot chatting with Satan.)

Satan: 2.7 miles?

William David Reynolds: (chuckle) I know!