Transcription:The Arkham Redemption


 * Black Manta: ''The Joker came to Arkham Asylum in the summer of aught nine. I know as much because I remember thinkin', "That is the whitest son of a bitch I have ever seen."


 * [Joker enters the warden's office] He had a funny way about him - not "ha-ha" funny, nor "stab-stab" funny.


 * Joker: Welcome back to Arkham's Top 40. The Riddler writes: "Joker, can you please play 'Who Let the Dogs Out?'"


 * [through speaker] Well, Riddler, here's your chatroom dedication.


 * Riddler: Yes!


 * Black Manta: He even found a way to fool the Sodomites.


 * Sodomite: Come here, Joker. I'm gonna fill that balloon up real good.


 * Black Manta: And despite appearances, we became friends.


 * Joker: I hear you're a man who can get things.


 * Black Manta: Well, that depends.


 * Joker: I need a large poster of Phyllis Diller.


 * Black Manta: That may take time.


 * Joker: Time's the one thing I've got. [long pause] Well, that and dementia.


 * Batman: Scarecrow; check. Two-Face; check. Joker? Joker, you better be sick or dead in there, I shit you not!


 * Black Manta: I remember thinking it would take a man a hundred years to tunnel out of Arkham.


 * Batman: What the hell?


 * Black Manta: The Joker did it in just two days. [laughs] Clearly, I gots trouble with the math.


 * Batman: Think you can the sewer line, huh, Joker? Not with the Batman on your tail!


 * [in the sewer pipe...] Ugh! Smells like Batman Forever!


 * Joker: [laughing] Sucker!


 * Black Manta: But what we didn't know was that the Joker hadn't actually left yet.


 * Joker: Buffalo wings, do your thing! [takes a crap and flushes toilet]


 * Batman: Ughh! Hello, there's a man down there; please don't flush anything for a while!


 * Joker: Oooowhee! Forget about The Green Mile, try walking the brown mile!


 * Batman: Oh, God, oh, God!


 * Black Manta: Batman crawled through a river of shit 500 yards long. I remember thinking that was probably the length of five Ping-Pong tables - again, not so good with the math. I remember thinking you have to be pretty insane to play a joke, like that on the Batman. [rain and music immediately stops]


 * Batman: Oh, come on!


 * Black Manta: Then again, I remember thinking that was pretty damn funny. [Batman hears Joker laughing, walks off disappointed]