Transcription:Avengers: Musictacular Tapstravaganza

(Director sits next to the Producer)

Producer: Hey, glad you could make the dress rehearsal.

Director: Well, it better be good. Another debacle like Spider-Man: Turn Out the Dark and we're ruined!

Producer: Well, I know you're gonna love Avengers: Musictacular Tapstravaganza!

Director: Wait, it's called what?

(Cut to the stage with an American flag as a backdrop with a green chamber)

President Actor: You said this super soldier serum will make him run, jump, fight--

Captain America Actor: (Bursts out of chamber, Singing) And dance!

[ Captain America Actor tap dances ]

Scientist Actor: I've never seen anyone hoof it like that!

President Actor: He's hoofing it up for America!

(Cut to cliff scene with Thor Actor walking across the stage)

Thor Actor: (Singing) They say only foold ever dance in the rain / But Thor-tunately, you're with the Thunder Gods!

(Background singers appear dressed as lightning bolts)

I'm not a Blunder God / Come home and step abroad.

Background Singers: Render us asunder, God! (They're lifted via a crane)

(Transition to scene with a spider web in the background with Stan Lee playing the piano and Black Widow Actress)

Black Widow Actress: (Singing) I spin a web if fantasy / Throw 10 roses and whispered tongue / But my web isn't strong enough to catch myself...a hawk.

(Hawkeye Actor appears from the right side)

Hawkeye Actor: (Singing) I soar above the people / My arrows pierce their bones / But the only arrow I won't use is the one the Cupid owns.

Stan Lee: You know, in South America, they have spiders that eat birds.

(Cut to scene where Loki Actor is at a bar mixing alcoholic beverages)

Loki Actor: (Singing) I shall win, I shall win / And you're gonna sulk.

Iron Man Actor: (Appears from the left, Singing) No you won't, no you won't / 'Cause we have The Huuuuuulk!!

(Loki Actor runs away, a metal "Hulk" rises)

All Hero Actors: (Singing in unison) They have The Hulk, they have The Hulk / Did you hear they have The Hulk?

(The metal Hulk prop creaks loudly)

One Hulk to take an Army / One Hulk to take 'em all...

(Steam machine that powers "The Hulk" explodes, impaling Iron Man Actor with a pipe and injuring others)

Producer: Uh...we're insured, right?

Director: Yes, soup to nuts.

Iron Man Actor: I NEED AN AMBULANCE!!!

Black Widow Actress: SOMEBODY CALL 9-1-1!!!!

(The Producer & Director pull out molotov cocktails and light them up, clink their bottles before tossing them and making a beline for the exit)

Captain America Actor: I CAN'T FEEL MY F---ING LEGS!!!!

(Black Widow Actress screams as the lit Molotov Cocktails crash and start a huge structure fire)