Transcription:Reboot Team-Up

Dance Rehersal Trailer
 * Katherine McPhee: (Singing) Just here me Sharelyn, feeling so Darelyn, let my long Harelyn, let me play Barelyn.
 * Steven Spielberg: Oh boy, that Katherine McPhee sure can sing.
 * Assistant: Mr. Spielberg, you shouldn't be producing TV shows, you should be making movies!
 * Steven Spielberg: UHHGH! The studios just want remakes, they even want me to remake my own movies.
 * Katherine McPhee: (Singing) Good Lord, have you seen this? That's DiMaggio's penis.
 * Assistant: Could a remake really be that bad, sir?
 * Steven Spielberg: Fine! They wanna remake? I'll give them the MOTHER of all remakes! (Makes TV screen gesture) SPIELBERG STYLE!
 * ('The following PREVIEW has been approved for ALL AUDIENCES. Who enjoy sub par assinine remakes of classic films' card appears, then it cuts to a World War firefight)
 * American Soldier #1: Aw, man, I didn't sign up for THIS. We're doomed!
 * American Soldier #2: Not so fast! Here comes WAR HORSE! (Albert Naracott appears riding War Horse)
 * Albert Naracott: Let's get 'em, War Horse!
 * War Horse: Neheheheheigh, hope you brushed your pubes today, Albert, because we're about to go BALLS DEEP! (Launches multiple missiles from his saddled missile launchers, and the missiles strike the building multiple times. War Horse then whips 2 German Soldiers with a whip he holds in his front leg)
 * American Soldier #2: (American Soldiers cheer) ALRIGHT, WAR HORSE!
 * American Soldier #1: One horse can't win the war!
 * American Soldier #2: No, but ET might even the odds!
 * ET: (Appears in his spaceship in the sky with a pilots suit on) He who give it life can also take it away! (Jumps off spaceship and flies in the air with wing flaps on his suit. Then ET throws dozens of shurikens at two groups of German Soldiers) Ouuuuuuch!
 * American Soldier #1: I thought aliens were supposed to be cute and cuddly.
 * American Soldier #2: Not anymore. Pure aliens are BIG box office! I keep up, I read the trades. (ET lands right near a German Soldier, and kicks away his gun. Then the German Soldier takes out a knife, and attacks ET, and ET dodges multiple swipes, jumps over him, and then gets onto him, and shines his glowing finger on his chest)
 * German Soldier: AYYE, HOT LIGHTS! EEEE! (Whole body explodes in blood and gore. Then Celie Harris cuts 3 German Soldiers' throats, killing them)
 * Cellie Haris: I'm poor, black, and ugly, but I'm here to FUCK YOU UP! (Takes out a large tubby gun, and fires at multiple soldiers)
 * American Soldier #1: Whoa! Cellie from The Color Purple is one big mother--
 * American Soldier #2: Shut your mouth!
 * American Soldier #1: I'm just talking about Cellie from the 1985 film The Color Purple.
 * American Soldier #2: LOOK! Here comes Tin Tin riding a velociraptor riding Jaws! (Tin Tin appears riding a Jurassic Park Velociraptor which is riding the Jaws shark)
 * German Soldier #2: Aw, c'mon, time out-- (Jaws chomps on him, then Velociraptor jumps off Jaws, and kills another German Soldier, then Tin Tin jumps off the Velociraptor and onto another German Soldier, and the soldier falls to the ground)
 * German Soldier #3: Red eyes! Like a doll's eyes, it's called The Uncanny Valley, it happens in animation when the human eye sees something he doesn't recognize is real, but they designed them into some photo reali-- (Tin Tin interrupts him after looking at the audience in a confused expression)
 * Tin Tin: Top of the mornin', Govenor! (Chomps into German Soldier's shoulder, and he screams in pain. Then Katherine McPhee appears from inside a tank while the screen displays "and Katherine McPhee as Kaiser Wilhelm")