Transcription:Riverdale


 * Archie Andrews: Oh, why can't I resist that silver minx? She's like a fine steak, aged to perfection.
 * Ms. Grundy: Oopsy!
 * Students: Oh!
 * Both: (Moaning)
 * Ms. Grundy: Oh, Archie!
 * Archie Andrews: Oh, Ms. Grundy!
 * Ms. Grundy: Call me Geraldine.
 * Archie Andrews: Well, somehow that's even grosser sounding than Ms. Grundy. Mmm, mmm! Oh, your tongue is rough. Hmm. You're a bad girl, Ms. Grundy!
 * Ms. Grundy: Is that this best you've got?
 * Greg Berlanti: Hi, I'm producer Greg Berlanti. You're watching the original un-aired pilot for "Riverdale" on the CW. The first note on the network was"For the love of all that's holy, please make Ms. Grundy make 22 instead of 82." Bad note, but whatevs. The second note was to definitely cut this next part out off the script.
 * Jughead Jones: Who's up for a human centipede -- with cheese?!