Transcription:Speeder Accident

(the camera shows Gary and a scout trooper in an Endor forest. Gary is postioning himself on a speeder bike a the scout plays with his pistol) (the speeder takes off extremely fast with Gary on it) (the scout looks calmly at Gary speeding away) Gary: THIS IS SO AWESOME! IT'S LIKE A DRREEAM! IT'S LIKE A DREEAM! WOOH! HA AH! YEEEAH!
 * Gary: Are you sure this is okay?
 * Scout: You're in country, dude! Live a little! Now, she's pretty senstive, so go easy on the throttle, okay?
 * Gary: Alright!
 * Gary: WWWHHHHAAAaaaaa!
 * Scout: Oh, crazy kid.

(he sees an ewok in front of him) (Gary accidently slams into the ewok and stops. The ewok is yelling and convusling in pain) (Gary looks away from the ewok in disgust and starts to tear up) (He pulls out a loaded rifle) (the ewok stops screaming and looks relieved) (he looks away and fires, but accidently shoots the ewok's leg off, not killing it and puts it in even more pain, making it start to scream and convulse again) (he picks up a large stone) (he lifts it over the ewok, but his radio turns on) (the call startles Gary, making him drop the rock on the ewok's stomach. The ewok screams and passes out) (he hangs up and goes over to the ewok's body) (he picks up the rock from the ewok's stomach. The ewok instantly wakes back up and starts screaming again) (he picks up a large bo staff from the ground) (he looks up to see a large tribe of armed ewoks has been watching him the entire time)
 * Gary: BEAR!
 * Gary: Uh, god. Oh man. I hit that little thing
 * Gary: Oh my god. Oh geez, I'm sorry! I'm so sorry! This is my first ride on...oh. God! (terrified) OH, GOD! Okay, pal, you know what? I'm gonna take care of this.
 * Gary: I'm gonna take care of this!
 * Ewok: Yeah, yeah, yeah yeah!
 * Gary: (tearing up) I'm just gonna put you out of your furry misery, okay?
 * Gary: OH GOD! (he drops the rifle and falls down in shock) OH GOD! OH NO! (he gets back up) I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'll fix it! No more pain, I promise! No more pain!
 * Gary: You're going to a better place now!
 * Scout (over radio): Gary, where'd ya go, man?
 * Gary: OOoooooohhh! Ewww!
 * Scout (over radio): Gary?
 * Gary: All good here! Be back soon! It's like a dream! Over!
 * Gary: No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No!
 * Gary: (is starting to get angry) You gotta shut up, man! I know it hurts, I know! Just.....just keep it to yourself!
 * Gary: Sorry! (he starts to brutally beat the ewok to death with it. After nine fatal blows, the ewok finally dies and Gary is covered in blood, starting to cry)
 * Gary: (weakly) I'm so sorry....you were so cute! (he drops the staff and back away, "cleaning up" his tears)
 * Gary: (breathing heavily) Okay! Okay! Pull it together! You're okay! It's over, G!
 * Gary: (awkwardly laughs) What's up, yall? Ooooh, schnizzle! Me and chief-drinks-alot over here..... (he picks up the ewok's mutalilated corpse and pretends it's alive) we were just puttin' back a few, and- (he pretends to drink a bottle of alcohol) Glug, glug, glug, glug glug! Right? (he turns to the dead ewok) RIGHT?!  Right?(he high fives the body and hugs it, accidently squeezing it's brain out onto a log) Riiiiggght. (he pushes the brain out of sight and runs away.)