Transcription:Shrek and Fiona

Fiona: The spell has broken! This was my true form all along! I can't wait to marry you, Shrek!

Shrek: Marry you?

Fiona: Well, yeah! Since we look the same now, we'll live happily ever after!

Shrek: Fiona, every morning, I look at myself in the mirror, and I wish my mother had the courage to throw me in the river when I was born. Then I make my way to the putrid swamps, the only place on God's green Earth a monster like me feels at home. Sometimes, children gather to scream at me. "Monster!  Animal!" they yell. Then someone screams "Kill yourself!", and it takes a few seconds to realize the voice is coming from my own mouth! By then, I've made my way to the old hanging tree. Before I have time to think about it, I'm wrapping a vine around my own neck. It goes "tot", and I pray to the gods that this time, the vine will hold! But alas, every day I wake up in my own filth, and I lie there, and I cry. I cry because I'll live to see my face again! So, nay, marrying a lass with a face as hideous as my own is not on my to-do list!

Fiona (mouth full): Have you tried these mini cheeseburgers? Great!

(Fiona sees Shrek hanging from a noose, and to Shrek's disappointment, the noose snaps)