Transcription:Wildman

Mom: It's a beautiful day outside. Why don't you kids go swimming?

Kid One: No way, we're on level twenty-five, it's totally cool.

Mom: What about sunshine? Sunshine's cool.

Kid Two: Oh mom, you don't even know what cool is.

Mom: No, but I know someone who does.

(Wildman breaks through the wall)

Wildman: All-rignt!

Kids: Wildman!

Wildman: Are you ready to get wild?!

Kids: Yeah!

Wildman: I can't hear you!

Kids: Yeah!

Wildman: Then I'll meet you at the public pool, yeah!

(The kids run towards a crosswalk when Wildman appears)

Wildman: Oh yeah!

Kids: Wildman!

Wildman: Remember kids, Wildman says never cross the street without looking both ways and using the crosswalk!

(The kids cheer)

Kid Three: Thanks Wildman!

Wildman: Oh yeah!

(Wildman disappears into thin air and reappears on the other side of the street holding a tray with glasses of water)

Wildman: Yeah! Wildman says drink six eight-ounce glasses of water or equivalent a day!

Kid Two: Yeah...alright,thanks...Wildman...

(The kids are about to jump into the pool when Wildman appears in front of them)

Wildman: Not so fast kids. Wildman says always wait one hour after application of sunscreen before entering the water!

Kid One: Ye...that's not all that wild.

(Wildman is yelling at kid two who is in the water)

Wildman: Wildman says no splashing!

(Wildman is yelling at kid three who is running around the pool)

Wildman: Wildman observes the 'No Running' signs!

(Wildman is yelling at kid one who is about to dive into the pool)

Wildman: Wildman never dives in less than twelve feet of water!

(Wildman is standing in front of all three kids who are staring at him)

Wildman: Wildman always leaves at the first sign of prunning!

(Wildman starts jamming on his guitar while taking large steps towards them, the kids stepping back cautiously away from him)

Wildman: Wa-Yeah! Wa-Yeah! Wa-Yeah!

(The kids have reached the house with Wildman right behind them)

Kid Three: I wanna go to bed.

Wildman:  Wanna see how the Wildman brushes his teeth?

Kid One: Leave us alone!

Wildman: Wildman over and out! And remember, Wildman knows that marriage is a sacred bond between a man and a woman; never two dudes!

Kid Two: What are you talking about?

Wildman: Yea-yea-yea-yea-yeaa (Wildman makes 'yeah'-ing noises that mimic the revving his invisible motorcycle makes as he drives one, and then the opposite way)