Transcription:The Worst Halloween

'The Worst Halloween' Transcript

[Werewolf Howling In Background]

Randy: "Mom, where's my costume?"

Mrs. McCormick: "Here it is, Randy, Power Rangers costume, just like you asked."

Randy: "It's a girl's costume!"

[Doorbell Ringing]

Randy: "My friends are here!"

Mrs. McCormick: "Nobody cares what color your costume is."

[Trick Or Treaters Laughing Uncontrollably]

Trick Or Treater # 1: "Randy's going as Elton John this year."

Randy: "[Beep] you guys!"

Randy: "Mom, I need a trick or treat bag."

Mrs. McCormick: "I'm outta shopping bags, honey, just use this."

[Trick Or Treaters Continue Laughing Uncontrollably]

Trick Or Treater # 2: "Nice purse, lady!"

Young Man: "Here you are, little girl."

[Trick Or Treaters Snickering]

Randy: "That does it, I'm going home."

[Trick Or Treaters Laughing Uncontrollably Again]

Randy: "It's too small, I.....I can't get it off."

Trick Or Treater # 3: "This is the greatest Halloween ever."

[Sports Car Tires Screeching]

Trick Or Treater # 4: [In Fear] "It's Armpit, run!"

All Trick Or Treaters: [Screaming In Fear]

Armpit: [Chuckling Evilly] "Come here!"

Armpit: "Hey, baby, you me, going for a ride."

Randy: [In Fear] "No............"

[Sports Car Tires Continue Screeching]

Trick Or Treater # 5: "Oh no, Armpit's gonna rape Randy."

[Sports Car Squeaking]

Armpit: [Weeping And Wailing] "Nobody understands me, [Cries] I tried to fit in, but I'm filled with so much rage."

Armpit: "Why did my soccer coach do that to me?"

[Armpit Groaning And Wailing]

Armpit: "You know what, sweet heart? I didn't even get your name."

Randy: "Uh......uh......"

[Gunshot Sounds]

Police Officer: "Are you Randy McCormick?"

Randy: [Gasps In Amazement] "Yes, oh thank goodness you're here, I'm Randy McCormick."

Armpit: "Randy McCormick?!? I'm gonna kill you, man!"

[Armpit Sobbing And Wailing]

Armpit drives away in his black sports car.

Police Officer: "Randy, I'm afraid your mom's dead."

Randy: "What?!?"

Police Officer: "It was a fire, son, it seems all she had time to do was write this note saying she never loved you."

Randy: "Oh no!"

Police Officer: "Right before she shot your dog."

[Crickets Chirping]

Police Officer: "Have a happy Halloween."

The police officer leaves in his police car and drives off.