Transcription:One Minute 'til Midnight

Santa's Workshop Ms. Claus' Bedroom
 * Santa: (Digital clock rings at 11:59 PM December 24th, and Santa realizes he overslept) JUMPIN' JAHOOFAH! It's one minute 'til Christmas?!? (Gets dressed up, and tips the hat rack over trying to get his Santa hat, and bursts into the Workshop where all the elves were still making toys) PACK THE TOYS! GET THY LIST! And if those fleabags aren't saddled in 6 seconds, then get your ass under the mistletoe cuz' my boot's gonna give it a fucking soul kiss. And WHO was in charge of my wake-up call? (An elf raises his hand, and Santa smacks him to a toy counter. Meanwhile, outside, an elf ties all the reindeer together on the sleigh, and Santa arrives) Pack your shit and get out. (Get into the sleigh with an elf) HYAH! (Takes off while the elf starts crying) (Santa's watch reads 11:59:30 and counting) HOLY, Let's do this! (Santa and the elf start dropping presents. One of them crashes through the roof of one house, another crashes through a door, another crashes through a roof, and kills a guy in bed) (Santa and the elf continue throwing the presents. One of them punches a hole in the ground where a guy riding a motorcycle falls into)
 * Homeless Man: SANTA REMEMBERED ME! (A present falls on him, and splatters his head off) (Santa and the elf continue throwing presents until Santa throws the elf out of the sleigh. Santa continues this throughout the USA with explosion heard all over, and then he stops in the middle of a road)
 * Santa: BOO-YAH! 15 seconds to spare! I fucking rule! Santa Dance! (Starts dancing like a rapper until he realizes that there is one present left) Oh, no, you don't! You're not gonna fuck me! Santa's the one doing the fucking tonight. (In a Ferris Bueller reference, Santa runs towards the house with the present. He jumps over 2 fences running over anything in his path. But then stops to see a half-naked women, and smiles, then continues. He then stands on a garbage can lid, slides up a slide, jumps off a trampoline, and in supa-slow mo, lands on his feet at the house. He tries opening the door, but it's locked.) Uhhgh! Why won't this thing open?
 * Ms. Claus: (Santa is seen sleepchoking her) UHHHGH! SANTA! AAAHHGH! UHGH! YOU'RE HAVING A DREAM!!!
 * Santa: (3 elves come in with cattle prauds and zap Santa) YAAAAHHH!!! YAAAAAAHHHHH!!! YAAAAAHHHHHHH!!! (Faints letting go of Ms. Claus)
 * Ms. Claus: I HATE Christmas! (Elves gasp) You heard me!