Transcription: Please Remain Seated

''[We start with Bosco "B.A." Baracus from The A-Team as a young boy that flies in an airplane.]''

Flight Attendant: (over the loudspeaker) Let's all give a round of applause to six-year-old Bosco Albert, who's making our flight from Atlanta to L.A. - all by himself! (the other passengers clap) Also, it seems that the in-flight meal was over three weeks old (the passengers gasp in shock) and almost certainly contaminated with bacteria. Thank you very much.

Man Next to B.A.: (stomach churns loudly and he buckles as he talks) Excuse me, but I need to use the..

Flight Attendant: Plus, the regulations require that you stay in your seat with your seat belt fully fastened.

Man Next to B.A.: This isn't happening! I'm not going to make it! God, please save me! (bends upwards and defecates loudly into his pants)

Woman Next to B.A.: (in panic) Oh, dear, get out of my way! (also defecates loudly into her pants, making B.A. uncomfortable)

Pilot: (also taking into the loudspeaker) Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain to remind you that getting out of your seats is against if - (now sounding stressed) Oh, who am I kidding? I'm out of my seat and squatting over a coffee pot up here, people! Do what you have to do!

''[As he finishes, the woman close to B.A. runs out of view as the other passengers start defecating as well, screaming in fright as this happens. After one flight attendant runs by the screen, the right man behind B.A. gets up, holds his behind to keep it closed, and runs to the back of the plane; then the right woman in the third row behind B.A. barfs into a bag. Finally, one more man pulls down his trousers, jumps off-screen, and releases a huge amount of diarrhea (which is blurred out), making the now freaked out B.A. hold his ears. We then fade to the adult B.A's head, zooming out after a second.]''

B.A.: I've told you before; I don't get on no damn plane! (snap to show the other A-Team members)

Templeton "Faceman" Peck: Aw, what's the big deal, B.A.?

B.A.: (grabs him by his shirt and shakes him) It's personal!

[As always, the sketch closes with static.]