Transcription:Used Car Surprise

A teen tells a used car salesman that he wants a "ride" for his birthday, but that he's only got a little bit of cash. So the salesman gives him a small blue stick and tells him to put both of his hands on the stick. To the teen's surprise, the stick turns into an out-of-control Light Cycle, which he ultimately enjoys up until he gets trapped in a spiral and crashes inside a cornfield.

A nerd approaches the same car dealer, looking to purchase a large car to overcompensate for his small penis. The dealer first offers him an SUV, and then something larger, a Hummer H2 and finally, to compensate for the "literally concative" penis, the nerd gets a Recognizer from the Tron film.