Transcription:The Planeteers

News
 * Kwame: EARTH!
 * Wheeler: FIRE!
 * Linka: WIND!
 * Gi: WATER!
 * Ma-Ti: HEART! (Captain Planet is formed)
 * Captain Planet: By your powers combined, I am Captain Planet!
 * Planeteers: (Gloomily) Hello, Planet!
 * Captain Planet: Whoa, really not feeling the love today, kids. It's not my abs, is it? I've switched trainers, I've just gotta rehire Jenny.
 * Wheeler: No, Cap, today's mission is gonna be kinda' intense.
 * Captain Planet: Has Hoggish Greedly reunited the Eco-Villains again?
 * Gi: No, Captain Planet.
 * Captain Planet: So, who is this villain in need of a good sound thrashing? (Planeteers point at The White House) Oh, no! Have Eco-Terrorists taken over the capital?
 * Gi: You might say that. The United States is the second largest polluter on Earth behind China.
 * Ma-Ti: To truly make a difference...
 * Linka: We MUST overthrow the United States government!
 * Captain Planet: (Laughs in amusement) Is Ashton Kutcher around here somewhere? (Laughs)...We're not waging war on America.
 * Gi: Not just America. Once we command the US military, we'll fight China to the death!
 * Wheeler: This is SO important, Gi will fight her own people!
 * Gi: I'm from Thailand.
 * Wheeler: The capital of China!
 * Captain Planet: I won't let you! (Gi spouts Captain Planet in the air with water powers)
 * Linka: (Holds Captain Planet in the air with wind powers, and hits him with multiple objects, then drops him to the ground)
 * Captain Planet: OOF! (Wheeler sets the area on fire) WHY?!? AHH! AAHHHH! (Wheeler walks through the fire) You leave me no choice! (Kwame summons vines from the ground to trap Captain Planet) Ma-Ti! I thought you were the power of heart!
 * Ma-Ti: Heart were made to be broken. (Takes out a knife, and the Planeteers put on weird masks)
 * Captain Planet: Whoa, this just took a dark turn. (Ma-Ti kills Captain Planet with knife)


 * News Anchor: In the news tonight, the famous ecological heroes the Planeteers attacked th US capital today.
 * Reporter: Bob, the Planeteers showed no mercy for approximately 5 to 10 seconds before they were all shot in the back by an overweight security guard here at the very first checkpoint.
 * News Anchor: We're hearing from the families that the bodies will not be cremated due to environmental concerns...they'll be mulched.