Transcription:The Truth Behind Alvin

[opens with Alvin and the chipmunks performing on stage]

Narrator: Salt Lake City. Alvin falls onstage. [cuts to twitter] Word quickly spreads that he has, in fact, died.

Narrator: [cuts back to the chipmunks performing] October 29, 2013. San Diego. Alvin is back.

[it cuts to photos of many graves that have the chipmunks names on it but with numbers at the end]

Narrator: But in November, a photograph from Chipmunks manager David Seville's backyard goes viral. Pressure mounts

[we cut to Dave Seville in a news conference with many journalist in the room]

Narrator: By early December, Seville can no longer dodge the scrutiny.

Dave Seville: I'm surprised nobody called me out on this earlier. The Chipmunks have been touring since 1958. The average life-span of a chipmunk is three years. You can do the math.

Journalist: Is it true you destroyed the death certificates?

Dave Seville : There are no death certificates. They are rodents!

Journalist: Will you surrender the corpses to authorities for full autopsies?

Dave Seville: Again, they are rodents! Legally speaking, I could throw them down a well. In fact, I accidentally ran over one of the Simons, and I simply replaced him with a new chipmunk from the crate of spare chipmunks I keep in the back of my Jeep. My Jeep smells awful.

[sketch ends]