Transcription:The Rebels Won

(In space, the second Death Star blows up. The scene cuts to an Imperial base where two Imperial officers are talking)

Officer 1: Convene all ships on Endor! I want the moon obliterated and the Rebels wiped from the face of the galaxy!

Officer 2: Uhh...sorry sir. Actually, we can't. The Rebels have won.

Officer 1: Wh...what do you mean 'they've won'? We have tens of thousands of ships!

Officer 2: Yeah...

Officer 1: We control countless worlds!

Officer 2: Yeah...

Officer 1: We have millions of troops at our disposal!

Officer 2: But they just blew up the SECOND Death Star and killed the Emperor.

Officer 1: SO?!

Officer 2: So that means they've won.

Officer 1: How does that mean they've won? They blew up the first Death Star years ago, and the fighting continued!

Officer 2: Yes, but they didn't kill the Emperor. They had to do both.

Officer 1: But we can't fight back?

Officer 2: No, sorry. This is the end of the Empire.

Officer 1: Really?

Officer 2: Yeah...'fraid so...that's it then.

Officer 1: What do we do now?

Officer 2: I guess we could go get a massage.

Officer 1: Let's do that.

(They walk off)