Transcription:Dinner With Vader


 * [at Cloud City]


 * Lando: I've made a deal that will keep the empire out of our affairs forever.


 * [door opens to reveal Darth Vader sitting at the head of a table; he rises as Chewbacca roars and Han Solo fires multiple times with his blaster; Vader deflects the blasts and pulls Han's blaster away]


 * Darth Vader: We'd be honored if you could join us.


 * [Boba Fett stands by Vader and stormtroopers block the entrance; cutaway to everyone sitting at the table; everyone is silent; Han looks in his glass to see it is empty as a stormtrooper serves more food to Lando; Darth Vader tries to drink out of a glass but can't until a stormtrooper puts in a straw]


 * Han Solo: [nervously quiet] C-could- can I get a little more water?


 * Darth Vader: WHAT?


 * Han Solo:Nothing! [clears throat] I just asked for more water.  [a stormtrooper refills his glass]


 * [Han looks over to Boba who is shaking his head at him, Han is confused, Boba makes a cutting noise across the throat which angers Han, Boba continues mocking Han by shooting a finger gun at Han, Han in response pretends to inflate his middle finger, Boba is not shaken and "cranks" up his own middle finger in response, Han annoyed gives up]


 * Lando: [breaking the silence] Sooo, how we doin'? Liea, how's the soup? You ever had soup this good?


 * Princess Liea: Yes... [menacingly at Vader] on Alderaan!


 * Darth Vader: [chuckling] Hey, princess, let it gooooooo... [gets a muffin using the force and stands up] [doing a mocking reconstruction of the destruction of Alderaan] "Ohh, help me!  'We're a peaceful planet.  You may fire when ready!" [throws crumbs in everyone's faces] BOOOOOOOORRRRAAAARRRR!!!!!!  Big Laser!  BSSSSHHHHHHHH!!!!!!  Alderaan chunks everywhere! [chuckles]  Psssshhhhhhh....[sits down]''


 * [brief silence]


 * Han Solo: Anyone uh...Anyone got a joke?


 * Lando: I got one. Who's got two thumbs, and betrayed his best friend? [no response, cracking up, points to himself using his thumbs] THIS GUY! [no response] Uhhhhh...too soon?


 * Darth Vader: Well... [sighs] it's been a time and a half. But... [sighs again and stretches] lot of torturing to do. Bweep do-da-loop-de-hooo. [sings and walks away accidentally taking the table cloth with him causing all the dishes to crash onto the floor]