Transcription:Return to Fantasy Island

[Mr. Roarke and Tatoo appear]

MR. ROARKE:  Smiles, everyone, smiles. Our guests are here to have their fantasies come true.

[the guests arrive]

MR. ROARKE: I trust your flight was enjoyable.

TOURIST #1: Yeah, it was great. Enough with the chit-chat, though. When do I get to fuck a donkey?

MR. ROARKE: I-I beg your pardon?

TOURIST #1: [slowly] When do I get to fuck a donkey?

MR. ROARKE: Surely you have another fantasy you'd like to-

TOURIST #1: No. Now are you gonna make it happen or am I gonna have to kick your ass?

TOURIST #2: Woah, woah, woah. My fantasy is to kick his ass.

MR. ROARKE: What?

TOURIST #2: Yeah, I wanna beat the motherfucking shit out of your foreign-ass head. That's my fantasy!

MR: ROARKE: No, no no, no. Your fantasies are supposed to involve an identical twin, or a family member being brought back to life for a day, or imagine being the president of your own country.

TOURIST #3: Does that midget do anal?

TATOO: Si. Yes I do.