Transcription:The Fattest Fat Loser

Announcer: Previously on The Fattest Fat Loser, the contestants got real!

Miss piggy: Moi has always considerd myself pesently plump. Until I shatterd kermit's pelvis.

(camra cuts to a bedroom with kermit and miss piggy doing a sex tape)

Kermit the frog: AHHHHHHHH get off of me you fucking wilderbeast!

(camera cuts to Mario)

Mario: My brother, Luigi, and me, we used to be the same. (holds up a picture of him and 8-bit Luigi from the NES version of Super Mario Bros.) But after a few years, (shows a picture of him and Luigi from the Mario and Luigi games) if I don't change my ways, (shows a picture of extremely fat Mario scaring Luigi away) this is what the Doctor's projector will look like.

(camera cuts to Winnie the Pooh)

Winnie the Pooh: I've gained so much weight, I can't even fit Rabbit's hole anymore. (turns to someone off screen) What?

(camera cuts to Garfield)

Garfield: I just wanna lick my balls one more time or at least be able to see them. Wait, wait, I mean, I hate Mondays!

(a montage of the characters training is shown to the song "Follow your Heart" and culminates with all the characters standong on stage and waving to the camera)

Announcer: The Fattest Fat Loser! (farts) Gross!