Transcription:Working for Doom

[''The scene opens at the Hall of Doom in the middle of Slaughter Swamp. There is a parking lot nearby. Scarecrow pulls into a parking spot and then gets out of his car.'']

Scarecrow: This commute is murder. [sighs] Okay, let's do this.

[''Scarecrow hops on a small rock leading into the swamp's water, following a path made of them. As he makes his way to the third one, he gets attacked by a swarm of mosquitoes.'']

Scarecrow: Ow! You little vampires!

[''Scarecrow tries to hop from that rock to a larger one that leads into the Hall of Doom, but ends up falling leg-first into the water. He struggles to pull his leg out, but when he does, he realizes his shoe was left behind.'']

Scarecrow: Aw, my moccasin!

[Scarecrow tries to reach into the murky water to retrieve his shoe, but at that moment a crocodile jumps on top of him and tries to attack.]

Scarecrow: Oh no, not again! Ow, ow! Just be gentle, Mr. Snappy.

[''Meanwhile, Riddler and Sinestro are standing at the Hall of Doom's front entrance, with Sinestro trying in vain to swipe his card. He rapidly swipes it a few times, but the scanner does not recognize him.'']

Sinestro: What is wrong with this piece of shit?!

Riddler: Swipe it slower.

[Sinestro swipes his card slowly, but the scanner still rejects it.]

Riddler: Uh, that's too slow! [Sinestro starts to get annoyed] Is it facing the right way?

Sinestro: OF COURSE IT'S FACING THE RIGHT- [He stops and looks at the card.] Okay, it was not.

[Inside the Hall of Doom, Lex Luthor is talking to his daughter, Lena.]

Lena: Dad, this is total bullcrap! It's Spring Break! My boyfriend invited me to his family's place at the beach!

Lex Luthor: Well, the court says I get you on weekends and holidays.Like it or not, we're spending this time together.

Lena: Ugh, doing what?

Lex Luthor: Oh, I have a plan for you...

[The scene cuts to Lena working as a cashier at a Starbucks-style coffee house within the Hall of Doom, with customers lined up to make orders.]

Darkseid: Give me a double espresso latte, half decaf, medium foam, with a dusting of Dutch chocolate.

Lena: [To herself] That bald son of a bitch...

[Black Adam and Gorilla Grodd are standing in line.]

Black Adam: Does Weather Wizard want coffee?

[Grodd checks his phone.]

Grodd: I texted him. I think he's responding because those three dots are hovering right there.

[Two-Face approaches the counter]

Two-Face: Tall cafe latte, please.

Lena: Okay, that's uh, $3.95.

Two-Face: Uh, you didn't ask me if I wanted whip or no whip.

Lena: Do you want whip?

[Two-Face takes out his coin, plips it, and looks at the result.]

Two-Face: Whip.

Lena: Great.

Two-Face Do I want an extra shot of espresso?

Lena: I don't know, do you?

Two-Face: We'll see...

[Two-Face reaches into his pocket for his coin, but has trouble getting it out.]

Two-Face: Uh, sorry, hold on. It's in my keys. [To the people behind him] It's in my keys.

Lena: It's on the house, okay?

Two-Face: Free or not free has nothing to do with it. I don't know if I want it. Only the coin knows if I want it!

[Two-Face flips his coin, but it lands in the tip jar.]

Two-Face: Hang on.

[He reaches in to try and get it out. Meanwhile, Brainiac is seated next to Poison Ivy with a laptop that is apparently not working very well.]

Brainiac: Oh, come on! The wifi password doesn't work!

Poison Ivy: Aren't you a living supercomputer? Use the wifi in your brain.

Brainiac: I don't have wifi; I have 3G! And I'm logged into a shitty family plan, mom blows through all my data Netflixing Castle, I have no minutes, ever! Ever!

[We then see Grodd talking to Lena at the counter.]

Grodd: Working here on your Spring Break? That's total bullcrap, Lena.

Lena: Yeah, well tell that to Daddy WarBald.

Grodd: Daddy WarBald! [laughs] We should follow each other on Twitter! Damon Lindelof favorited my Tweet once!

[Grodd then shows Lena on his mphone that, yes, Mr. Lindelof indeed favorited his Tweet: specifically, one that criticized his performance in Prometheus.We then see Grodd at another counter flavoring his coffee while conversing with Black Adam.]

Grodd: So, Lena over there has to work on Spring Break! Did you even know it was Spring Break?

Black Adam: What does it matter? We don't get vacations!

Grodd: That's what I told Lena! She says that's so unfair!

Black Adam: Lena makes a lot of good points.

Grodd: Oh, and you know, she's vegan? I really admire that Lena.

[''Grodd's phone beeps to indicate that he got a text message. He reads it.'']

Grodd: Weather Wizard wants an Americano.

Black Adam: [Takes a sip from his coffee] Say we already left.