Transcription:Getting to Paris is Hard

{Lauren steps out of a silver convertible}

Lauren (narrating): Previously on The Hills. Heidi tried to apologize, but I wasn't ready to forgive her.

{Lauren meets Heidi at a bar}

Heidi: It's hard to say you're sorry.

Lauren: You're sorry. See I just said it.

{Various clip shots of Beverly Hills}

Lauren (narrating): And my job at Teen Vogue was about to change forever.

{The Hills logo pops up on screen}

{Lauren and her boss, Kimble, are at the Teen Vogue office}

Kimble: We are sending you.. to Paris!

Lauren: Oh, my God! Paris?!

{Music montage plays, then quickly cuts after a few seconds}

Kimble (looking off-camera): I'm sorry, I thought that song would go longer. (to Lauren) Anyway, there's a catch! We're also sending Heidi.

Lauren (frustrated): But Heidi doesn't even work here!

Kimble: What are you saying that this is a scripted show?!

Lauren: I just don't know if I can go to Paris with Heidi.

{Another music montage plays}

{Lauren and Heidi are at the same bar, this time with Spencer}

Lauren: It's really hard, but I want you to go to Paris.

Heidi: I don't know. It's hard!

Spencer: I like talking.

{Another music montage plays as Spencer drives Heidi and Lauren through a desert}

Lauren: Spencer, I don't think you even know where Paris is!

Heidi: Leave him alone, Lauren! He's trying! Driving is hard! Everything is so hard!

Spencer: Heidi, other one, stop yelling! Aah, noises hurt! {slaps his hands on the sides of his head, then suddenly drives the car off the road}

{Spencer's car is now in the middle of the desert. All three are out of the car inspecting it}

Spencer: Oh, great! The tires are flat.

Lauren: No they aren't! You just drove off the road!

Spencer: Fine, Lauren! Fine! I can't do this with you right now! Frustrated grunt! {He walks away}

Heidi: You're jealous that I'm with Spencer! This is hard, Lauren! Seriously! {she walks away}

Lauren: Getting to Paris is hard! {she tries to open the car door, but it's locked} The keys! Either one of them could have the keys. So, I should go this way. {she goes the complete opposite direction Spencer and Heidi went}

{Another music montage plays as Lauren is walking through the desert as the sun starts going down. Up on a hill, someone is watching Lauren through a pair of night-vision binoculars. Lauren continues walking and sees a small pair of lights in the distance}

Lauren: The city of lights! I made it!

{She begins walking towards it, then suddenly stumbles and breaks one of her heels. She arrives at a boarded up house where the light is. She peeks inside to see Poppa Jay, a backwoods cannibal, along with two other cannibals having tied up both Spencer and Heidi. Poppa Jay is sharpening up a large knife}

Poppa Jay: We're gonna skin ya and wear ya skin and bake you in the oven and eat ya girl.

{Heidi talks, but her words are muffled by her gag tape. Poppa Jay removes it}

Heidi: That sounds hard!

Poppa Jay: Come on, let's go warms up the oven.

{He places Heidi's gag tape back over her mouth. He and his two friends walk away to the kitchen}

{Lauren quietly sneaks in}

Lauren (whispering): Shhhh... Be quiet, guys. {She reaches into Spencer's pocket and takes his car keys} Don't say anything. {She walks away}

{Lauren walks through the dark desert when suddenly, one of the cannibals comes up behind her. He tackles Lauren to the ground and beats her up. Lauren screams in terror as the cannibal tackles her down again. The screen goes black when the sound of a bones snapping is heard}