Transcription:Trakker in Love

''[Boulder Hill is an absolute burning mess, the walls are plastered with most of M.A.S.K. vehicles and masks, as Matt Trakker examines all the damage. His son Scott stands there, feeling really sheepish.]
 * Matt: So, you're trying to tell me, V.E.N.O.M. did this to M.A.S.K. headquarters?
 * Scott: Um, yes?
 * Matt: Malarkey Scott, what really happened last night?
 * Scott: Uh...

[A flashback shows a couple dancing inside Boulder Hill, as teenagers play with the masks]
 * Teenager: [sporting one of the masks, shooting lasers] Whoo-hoo-hoo, look at me! I'm a M.A.S.K.! [A second teenager steps into view with another mask, shooting fire, setting a third teen on fire.]
 * Scott: [dancing, as T-Bob has been rebuilt into a reefer] This is the greatest day of my life! Whoo-hoo! [kisses a girl, then gets slapped]

''[Flashback ends. Scene change back to Boulder Hill in shambles.]''
 * Matt: You're grounded, mister!
 * Scott: Such an asshole! [runs off sobbing, as Bruce Sato steps into view, sweeping the floor with his broomstick]
 * Matt: [sighs] He's never has a mother, Sato.
 * Bruce: Sato say, good woman will do seventy chores around the house, cooking, and sixty-nine.
 * Matt: [chuckles, putting his hand on Bruce's shoulder] Ah Sato, you're fantastically offensive.

''[Scene change to the computer room, where Matt is typing away on his computer. Hondo MacLean, with a mop and bucket, catches a glimpse of what website Matt is checking out.]''
 * Hondo: A dating website? That could be a huge security rick, Matt!
 * Matt: Sorry Hondo, I just meet that many women. [continues typing]
 * Hondo: Why don't you just date Gloria?
 * [Matt and Hondo spot Gloria Baker fixing Thunderhawk's engine, then wiping her cheek, covering it in oil.]
 * Matt: Nah, I'm more of a chubby chaser...
 * Hondo: Yeah, there's nothin' like a big hard - Wait, what'd you mean by "chubby"? [walks off; Matt stares dreamily at his computer monitor, revealing the website to be "E-Fatty.fat, showing a picture of an obese hillbilly woman named Darlene.]

[Scene change to a restaurant; Matt and Darlene exit, both laughing, as the valet tosses Matt his car keys.]
 * Darlene: Oh Matt! [Matt aims his keys at Thunderhawk, opening its wing doors] Wow, bitchin' car!
 * Matt: You ain't seen nothin' yet!
 * [Thunderhawk drives off, setting the valet on fire.]

[Scene change to Matt's bedroom, which transforms to reveal a huge bed and a disco ball.]
 * Darlene: Dang, does everything in this house transform?
 * Matt: Yep. Watch this, baby. [drops his pants]
 * Darlene: [amazed by what she sees] Wow. Mmm... [giggles, as she walks towards Matt; Matt and Darlene are now in the bed, as Matt's Spectrum mask sits on one of the bedside tables] Mmm, y'all have masks, huh? Don't I get a mask?
 * Matt: Yeah, you sure do. [puts a paper bag with a badly-drawn pretty girl face and pigtails on the sides on Darlene's head, making her giggle and advance on Matt]

[M.A.S.K. logo, then scene change back to the Boulder Hill computer room; Bruce is still sweeping, as Matt sits down with his hand covering his face.]
 * Matt: Darlene's pregnant, Sato! What am I gonna do?!
 * Bruce: Sato say, shotgun wedding is case of wife or death! [Matt gives Bruce an angry, making Bruce walk away quietly]

[Scene change to Matt and Darlene's wedding.]
 * Matt: [sighs] I do.
 * Minister: Then by the power vested in me, I now pronounce you man and wife. [Gloria cries] You may kiss the bride.
 * Darlene: Mmm... [kisses Matt, but then...] Now!
 * [Sly Rax pops out from behind the crowd and shoots a laser from his Stiletto mask at Darlene's face, revealing to be none other than...]
 * Matt: Oh my god, Miles Mayhem?!?
 * Hondo: [whispering to the minister] He's the leader of V.E.N.O.M.
 * Mayhem: [laughs] The joke's on you, Trakker! [Switchblade drops a rope ladder down through the chapel ceiling; Mayhem climbs on, as Switchblade carries him out of the chapel] Now I have all your secrets, M.A.S.K.! V.E.N.O.M. legally owns half your shit! Just try and divorce me!
 * Matt: But, I put my... [whispers] you put your... Oh my god!
 * Bruce: Sato say, gay dinosaur called mega sore ass!
 * Mayhem: You'll have to bathe yourself from now on, Scott Trakker! [laughs maniacally]
 * Scott: Mom?
 * [Switchblade transforms from helicopter mode to airplane mode and zooms off; Mayhem is now inside Switchblade, with Rax and Vanessa Warfield at the controls]
 * Mayhem: What a plan! Nothing can stop us now!
 * Vanessa: Yeah, but wouldn't it have been easier to send me instead? I mean, I'm a naturalist.
 * Mayhem: Silence! [breathes on the windscreen, draws a heart shape, then sighs and lets a small tear run down his own cheek]