Transcription:Red Shirt

''[Scene: Toby the Red Shirt's quarters aboard the USS Enterprise as he is about to get ready for duty. Suddenly, a ship-wide announcement begins...]''


 * PA System: Attention everyone, we are now in orbit of the planet of hot chicks...

[Toby smiles and grabs the Red Shirt in his closet]


 * PA System: ...who turn out to be monsters...

[Toby starts to put the shirt back]


 * PA System: ...but they're friendly monsters and they're very horny.

[Toby grabs the Red Shirt again]


 * PA System: Unfortunately they have razor-sharp teeth in their vaginas.

[Toby puts the shirt back]


 * PA System: Although they do have ten breasts each.

''[That settles it. Toby grabs the Red Shirt, puts it on and heads out of his quarters. The door opens and Toby is instantly incinerated by flames]''


 * PA System: Oh and the ship is on fire.