Transcription:Cryptkeeper's Grave Mistakes


 * Mr. Greyson: Crypty, it's been a great seven years, but we are canceling "Tales From The Crypt," so thanks for all you've done for the network.
 * Cryptkeeper: You're "hell-come"! [Laughs evilly]
 * Mr. Greyson: Yes, well, you can go now.
 * Cryptkeeper's Wife: You can't just sit around here all day. You're driving me crazy.
 * Cryptkeeper: Guess I'll take a look at the "Help 'Haunted'" ads! [Laughs evilly] I'm looking.
 * Mr. Majkowski: So, tell me, Mr. keeper, what do you think you can bring to this company?
 * Cryptkeeper: Well, I've always been a real "Scream" player! [Laughs evilly]
 * Mr. Majkowski: O-o-o-kay. Well, thank you for coming in.
 * Cryptkeeper's Wife: How many job interviews can one person mess up? Get a job.
 * Cryptkeeper: But, sweetie, you know this economy is "terror-ible." [Laughs evilly]
 * Cryptkeeper's Wife: Start lookin', ya bum!
 * Man: Hey, Skeletor, you gonna work or just sit there jerkin' off?
 * Cryptkeeper: This is some serious boo-shit!
 * Man: What did you say?
 * Cryptkeeper's Wife: Fired?! My mother was right. I should never have married a screw-up like you!
 * Cryptkeeper: Get off my case, you [Bleep] Bitch! Wait. That wasn't a pun. My whole life has been a grave mistake. [Laughs evilly, sobbing] Looks like I won't be hanging around. Hunh!
 * Cryptkeeper's Father: And now we shall hear the eulogy, or should I say "ghoul-ogy," huh? [ Laughs ] Inappropriate?