Transcription:Noah's Rejects


 * [Next to a bed, an alarm clock reading 10:40 starts to blare. The occupant of the bed reaches out and turns it off... with his hoof. It's then revealed in the bed are a pair of unicorns. The Male Unicorn looks at the clock.]

Male Unicorn: Oh my god, look at the time!

Female Unicorn: The bags! Just grab the bags!


 * [The Male Unicorn stands with two suitcases, while the female rummages through drawers.]

Male Unicorn: My hat! Where is my hat?!

Female Unicorn: Oh wait wait wait wait wait. I need a minute to pack my...

Male Unicorn: There's no time! Are you kidding me?! No time!


 * [At the coast, Noah's ark stands ready to set sail. The ark's horn (?) blows as the unicorns arrive.]

Male Unicorn: Oh no... wait! No please, wait! Wait!


 * [It's too late, the ark retracts its walkway and sails off]

Female Unicorn: Well that's just great, Steve. My mother was so right about you being unreliable and now... now look at where we are.

Male Unicorn: Well I... um...


 * [It has started to rain. Just then a male and female dragon turn up with the male carrying a trunk.]

Male Dragon: Are we too... we are. Come on, it's not that big a boat. Just flip it... aww!


 * [The unicorns and dragons have been joined by a pair of cyclops and a pair of minotaur]

Male Unicorn: We're doomed... we're doomed.

Male Cyclops: Aw, game over man. Game over!

Male Unicorn: You know what... I'm gonna build my own ark. Yeah, and it's gonna be better than Noah's.


 * [All the other mythical creatures starting nodding in agreement, except the Female Unicorn who looks unimpressed.


 * We then see that flood waters have washed over the earth while the mythical creatures sit in the Male Unicorn's ark which is only a pathetic looking boat.]

Male Minotaur: This sucks.


 * [Just then a merman and mermaid couple pop their heads out of the water.]

Mermaid: Ha ha ha, you guys are gonna drown but we're a mermaid and a merman. We can swim.


 * [The Male Dragon leans forward and bites off the mermaid's head, leaving her body to sink.]

Male Dragon: I hope you can also asexually reproduce, asshole.

Merman: Crap.


 * [With that, the boat sinks taking all the mythical creatures down with it while the Merman is chased off by a rapidly approaching shark.


 * Watching this through a telescope from the proper ark is Noah with all the various animals behind him.

Giraffe: So you told them the wrong time on purpose?

Noah: Yep, God hates freaks.

Giraffe: That doesn't sound like God?!

Noah: (mockingly) That doesn't sound like God!

Giraffe: Well... then... why did you let the pixie fairies on board?

Noah: I did?!


 * [Noah then produces a mallet and starts chasing the pixies around the ark.]

Noah: Get back here, you little dust tosser!